I sat in my empty home for the very first time. Onika was gone and truth be told, I didn't think she was coming back. I sent her numerous airports to choose from, just to show her people I had humanity inside me. But with all of those choices she still didn't choose one.
I was bringing women into our home. And this was the very first time I felt bad about it. The house we somehow visioned our kids to grow up in. And I was bringing different women in and out like some prostitute facility.
Ma called, my brother called, and my sister texted. She had a nice set of words for me.
I knew I was wrong. Beyond wrong. But Onika made me this way. She knew exactly how to make me so angry that my fits starts to tell her how I feel.
I promised. A lot of times. And also broke those same promises. A lot of times.
I was in shambles without my wife. I wasn't going to let her be down there any longer. But if she decided she didn't want to come back. I'll understand. But yet, not enough to understand her for leaving me. She can't leave me. We made it this far, with so many breakups, breakdowns, and makeups. I'll be a fool to let her walk out of my life permanently.
Knock Knock Knock
I reluctantly got up from the couch and went to open the door.
It was Momma, Hakim, and Desiree. Desiree and Hakim looking just like our father, while I took mostly from our mother.
I stepped aside and they walked in. Analyzing my house like it's their first visit.
"You need some candles.." Momma says
"Just throw the whole house away." Desiree added.
I looked around my house and saw what they were talking about. I had dishes everywhere, even my work clothes where places they didn't belong.
"It's been rough on me." I say
"I love you to death, but you had it coming Sis." Hakim says shaking his head, "What makes you think she'll stick around. Momma didn't and i'm sure she wouldn't either." He added
I chuckled sadly, "You're absolutely right."
"I know I am. Who even are you?" He asked
"What ya' mean? I'm Beyonce Gisel—"
"Not the one we used to know." He pointed to himself and to them.
"Don't do dat, Hakim."
"You can't take the truth from your little brother?" Desiree asked
"Stay out of this." I say, "Momma, you gone stop them or what?"
"They're not wrong. You are an exact replica of your father. You promised me, your wife, and yourself that you wouldn't follow behind that man. Now look at you."
I sat down at my island and hot tears poured from my eyes. I didn't think this was the end but I knew it was close to it. Onika was going out of my life for good. Divorce papers were probably already established with a lawyer.
Momma came up behind me and rubbed my back gently, "Don't get all sad. You caused this. Now I know it may be too late, but that girl is begging for you to change. Please."
"Mhm." Desiree hummed, "And you needs a hair do. Them golden locs actually locking." She added
I sniffed and laid my body onto Momma's. She was the nearest comfort I had.
—————
Onika had finally texted back and picked an airport. Momma them was still here, giving my the company I needed.
