peace with you

A long-awaited breath

Lina

It had been a heavy feeling. It felt like I was underwater, fighting for every breath, unable to move or speak. I was panicking, suffocating under the pressure, when I heard his voice.

He really was there. But have I ever doubted that he wouldn't be? Lando was always there with me, whenever I needed him.

I surfaced from my nightmare and drew in a sharp, long-awaited breath. I opened my eyes and searched frantically for him, and soon found him right in front of me. His eyes looked me up and down, and then they locked on mine, a relieved look shining through. His eyes remained on mine, and I felt how all the weight disappeared. My heart slowed down and the air was easier to breathe. 

I wasn't imagining; Lando was here.

"How do you feel? You're not dizzy, or thirsty, or hungry, or-"

"Fine now, perfectly fine now. Don't remember much, but I'm feeling good."

The door opened and a doctor came in with Max behind him. He smiled at me, telling me that he was glad I was okay and awake.

"So, miss Strüss, you scared us for a while. But I don't think we have anything to worry about anymore. How much do you remember?"

"Can't say I remember much, what happened? I remember me and Isa watching the race, and then- Yeah."

I turned to Lando, waiting for an explanation for the blanks in my mind. It was a terrible feeling, not knowing what happened for you to end up in hospital.

"You were feeling sick, according to Isa, and you passed out from dehydration and heat. You forgot to drink and eat enough before the race and it was too late for that when you left to do so."

Oh. Well, that makes sense.

"Okay, I think I remember the dizziness. But how about the race? You won, right?"

Lando smiled a bit, and shook his head no. What? What happened?

"Don't tell me you didn't finish because of me?"

"Lina, of course I didn't finish. John told me over the radio that you were taken to the hospital; I didn't choose between you and the race. You were, and will always be the only option."

I wanted to cry, I ruined everything from him today, and he wasn't even angry about it. He'd have won, if it wasn't because of me.

"Don't even think about blaming yourself. Wouldn't be good for you, or the baby."

Now I was just badly confused. Had Lando hit his head on his way here? I let out a chuckle, what was this?

"Did you hit your head love? I swear it's only me in here."

The doctor cleared his throat. I looked at him, waiting for whatever he had to say. 

"Miss, when you came here, we took a series of blood tests from you; to see if everything was okay and to know how to treat you. Pregnancy test is one of the standard tests, and it told us that you are indeed 9 weeks pregnant."

I wanted to laugh at him too, but the fact that he was a doctor shut me up. He knew what he was talking about and wasn't allowed to lie. I turned to Lando again, now seeing pure happiness in his eyes.

"I'm I really-"

"Yes love, you are."

All the sickness, the headaches. I remember thinking about my late periods. It was all because of it, him or her. A baby, mine and Lando's.

My mind was a mess, thinking about our future with our baby. And of course, it was now. As I watched Lando's face I didn't feel anything but gratitude. We got our dream.

"No way... It-, this is-. Lando we are going to be-"
"Parents. My love, we are going to have a baby."

I was now fully crying and hugging Lando. I still couldn't believe that we'd get it all. We'd soon have the chance to bring our child to our cabin with us. We'd be called mom and dad, two of the most beautiful words existing.

"Mom and dad."

Lando was crying too, and we probably were a sight to see; us, holding each other and crying their eyes out. 

.

.

Lando

At first, she was just completely confused, but after she got the explanation, her face was so full of emotion that I was getting nervous. What if she wasn't as happy as I was about the baby? She was quiet a long time, and when I squeezed her hand, she turned to me, tears shining in her eyes.

.

"Mom and dad."

I was going to be someone's dad, father. And Lina was going to be a mother, mom. Mom and dad.

.

"I would like to do an ultrasound, if that's alright with you?"

Lina was nodding excitedly, bursting with joy and happiness. God, I loved her. And she was awake and okay. Laying there, stroking her stomach, happy with the news and the future.

.

"So, here is your baby. There isn't much to see yet, but we might be able to hear a heartbeat."

It was dead silent, all waiting to hear something.

And then it came, rapid sound of a beating heart. Our baby's heart was beating.

"Is is supposed to be that fast?"

Lina had a concerned look on her face, and I turned to look at the doctor.

"Yes, it completely normal with fetuses this little. When your pregnancy progresses, it will slow down a bit. But you have nothing to worry about."

So, there we were. Two people staring at our baby, listening to the heartbeat. Tears sliding down both our cheeks, smiles on our faces.

"You are the dream Lina. And now you're giving me my dream, again."