Silent

51. Do you see?

Wayne, Darren, Stephen, Joe, and of course Ricky; were all from different parts of the US.  Wayne worked as a lawyer and Jean estimated him in his early fifties. Darren, maybe a couple of years younger, was a successful dentist, and the farm they were currently at was rented from one of his French contacts. Someone 'like-minded', someone who would arrive there the following evening. Stephen, the youngest of them all, was around thirty and worked as a high school teacher.

Only Joe was someone who was more in contact with Ricky. Others had come to their acquaintance through their twisted interests, and Ricky had seen them fitted for this 'job', to punish a 'whore' who escaped him.

The other men, except Steven, had openly admitted using Michael at one point in his past with Ricky, and it was now painfully clear to Jean that Michael really didn't remember those times. The men had talked about it, laughing with sick amusement as they savored the memories of how drugged up the boy had been back then.

During the early morning hours, it had also come painfully clear that although Stephen and Wayne had to head back home the following day, Ricky had invited new men to replace them. Jean was sickened by the thought of how the torture would continue and only turn worse for Michael. He felt sickened by the fact that he was responsible for bringing them both into this hell.

For the time being and considering the circumstances, Michael had survived with such physical injuries that would heal with time and care. But if he would not get Michael out in the next 24 hours... Jean paused at the thought, his chest tightened, it was much too horrifying to accept.

Jean had only gotten a couple of hours of restless sleep that night. Sebastian did not leave him. The dream had started calm, they had been alone, Sebastian in his arms as he had once been all those years ago.

He had felt confusion at first, partly realizing that it couldn't be real, and still, he had wanted it to be so desperately. He had wanted to drink away that horrible truth, not wanting to be a part of it, not really. But nothing washed away the fact that it was ultimately because of him that Sebastian ended up murdered. Nothing changed the fact that he had been there that night and participated.

"I didn't want it, you must know I didn't want it", Jean had sobbed in his sleep, holding onto the other's slender form. Sebastian leaned back and looked at him. The gaze in his blue eyes dimmed and turned vague, his skin painting almost white, only moments before his head fell back as his neck split open spilling blood all over him with unnatural force.

Jean had woken in a cold sweat, clothes damp around his lean figure. If he didn't act, Michael would experience a fate far worse and it was more than he could take, more than he was ready to go to his grave with.

Ricky considered him a pitiful drunk, too far gone in his addiction and thirst for vengeance to see a threat in him. He had made sure there were plenty of drinks available and even now Jean could hear that faint calling. 'Take a sip, just a small drink, enough to make you feel lighter and no more...' And at the same time, he knew that even the small sip could make him crumble, and he was Michael's only hope. 

In his twisted way, Jean loved, the only way he knew how.

He pretended to drink, and filled his glass, carrying around the temptation that tortured him; take a sip, it kept whispering. Surprisingly he managed to resist. Surprisingly his love, as sickly and twisted as it was, was stronger than the lure of the devil in that moment. 

In the end, he was a better actor than many would have given him credit for. None of them believed him strong enough to resist the demons of his addiction.