Lost

Chapter 13 Jacquelyn

"Duh, I can look it up."

I took out my phone. I thought back for a moment about what he said.

"Ai...shi...te...ru..yo...", I said as I typed it in on my translation app.

"What..."

I was speechless when I saw what it said.

~

"We are here miss."

The driver broke me out from my shock.

"Oh, thank you", I said and then handed him the money.

It was dark out now and starting to rain. That didn't stop me. I'm a woman on a mission.

I quickly located him.

"Isamu? Isamu, sorry to barge in but I forgot to give you something. I know I'll miss my flight but hey, it's one more night with you."

It was quiet.

"Isamu?"

I checked his bed, it was just a bunch of blankets. It's unlike him to leave his bed on the floor if he's not going to sleep in it.

I turned on the lights to see.

He wasn't here. I looked around until I spotted a paper that was folded in half. It was a letter written in Japanese. I can't read it at all. I was about to take out my phone to take a picture to translate but at the very bottom, I saw a part that was written in English. None of the villagers speak English let alone read it. It felt like he wrote it for me.

I'm sorry Jakie for lying to you. You're the last person I would ever want to hurt. You made the past few weeks the best time of my life. I'll never forget you. I wish things had turned out differently for us, for me. I wish my family could understand me, could love me, could understand the pain I've been in for all my life. In the end, that was impossible for them. You are the only person in my life to accept me, all of me. I'm just so broken right now, so worn out to the point that I can't do this anymore. I prayed at the temple for there to be a second life so that I'll see you again and for God to forgive me. Somehow if you get this message again I'm sorry. Everything I have will be yours, I had it all set up while you were here. Please come back to visit the villagers when you can.

Love you, Jackie.

Tears were streaming down my face.

"No...Isamu..."

I had no idea. How could I have missed what he was truly feeling? He was hiding this from me all this time but why? Why wasn't I enough for him? He could have flown back with me if things were this bad.

"He's...gone? No...he can't be."

I just read his letter. His last letter. His suicide letter. 

I need to call the police or something but I'm refusing to let this be real. I'm in denial.

I got to my feet with the letter in hand and ran outside in the now pouring rain. I looked all around for him.

"Isamu? ISAMU?!"

I ran around looking for him when suddenly a memory came to mind.

"You know, this place is a good spot to chill. I love eating potatoes but I never thought I would nap amongst them", I said.

"You're weird", Isamu said.

"Am not. I'm sure you took a nap here before too at least once."