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I WOKE UP alone in bed around ten-thirty, to a screenshot from Robin. In it was a good morning from Stan to her, along with a photo attachment of a kitten tangled in sheets. My phone buzzed with another text as I struggled to get my bearings.
This is how women were wooed in the olden days, it said. Also, Coco sent me some photos Takoda sent her of you. You were unaware in most of them and I think he's completely crazy about you. I'm jealous. The end
It was only then that I remembered everything that happened between Takoda and me after we returned to our hotel room early this morning. The kissing, especially.
I dropped my phone without responding to Robin and pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes as I held back a scream. Then I listened for signs of life in the room. The spot next to me was cold, an indication that he'd been gone a while, and other than the hum of the air conditioner, the room was still.
I turned over and pushed my face into the pillow.
I was in his Fleetwood Mac T-shirt, but I couldn't really remember putting it on. The memory came in short flashes, so I knew I was half-asleep when he nudged me into it. I'd said goodnight to him afterwards, as I settled on my stomach, and he'd placed a kiss on my cheek. I remembered feeling happy then, but now I wasn't so sure. Was he going to go back to being weird? Was I going to be weird? I'd literally agreed to us having casual sex last night, and even though we didn't, I wasn't quite sure where that left us. Was this even healthy?
Without giving it much thought, I took my phone, closing out of my and Robin's thread and going to Google. Then I typed, is it healthy to have sex with your ex, into the search barand waited for the results. The answer was obvious, so I wasn't quite sure what exactly I was looking for. Google advised against it, and I even read some answers on forums explaining why. Familiarity made you do it, most of them said. Leftover tension, others added. Then there was an answer at the end of the thread that had me pausing.
If you feel like you might still have feelings for your ex, having sex with them, especially if you've been having sex before, might feel easier than talking it out. I say this from experience. It's totally normal to still harbor some feelings for an ex, but, depending on the situation that led to the breakup, it's not always advisable to get back together with them. With time, those feelings lessen. Some people argue that the sex helps them get over everything and is sometimes what you need, but it's a terrible idea, imo.
The answer had five comments, but I only read the first one.
Seven years ago, I broke up with my ex. Two years later, we bumped into each other and started talking again. We almost hooked up once before realizing that we still had feelings for each other and deciding to give our relationship another shot. We're happily married now and welcomed our beautiful baby girl two months ago. Getting back together with him is the best decision I've made in my life. So it all depends, honestly. There's no rulebook for this.
