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I NOTICED A little too early that Takoda's smell stuck to everything. I didn't know what it was about it, but if you were familiar with it and he walked into a room, you'd know before even seeing him. If he touched something, you'd know. If he sat somewhere, you'd know.
I found myself gravitating towards it—towards him—and at an alarmingly fast pace, too. It was all very dizzying. It was that kind of movement you're barely aware of, where the momentum is terrifying enough for it to be near impossible for you to stop at will. Like an out-of-body experience. It was why when he waved a hand in front of my face to pull me back from my daze, I asked, "What's the name of your cologne?"
He lifted a curious eyebrow at me, his Cupid's bow twitching like he was fighting a smile. He was lying on his side next to me, but between the time I'd responded to his last question and now, he'd pushed himself up onto his elbow, partially blocking my view of the distant night sky, tainted by the lights of the city.
I couldn't remember exactly how we'd ended up on the roof of the ultra-modern house of one of Coco's closest friends while everyone else was at the product launch party downstairs—it had been a hazy night, blurred by a little too much champagne—but I recalled that he'd been the one to initiate this little adventure. I convinced myself that the only reason I remained here was because I loved the view of the glowing pear-shaped pool from this height, even though it was long forgotten by now.
"That's a basic question," he said, softly, like he wanted his voice to be for my ears alone.
"Just give me an answer."
"Calebson. Number nine." I saw a vein in his hand pulse beneath his skin as he quietly shifted his weight. That was something else I'd noticed—his gentleness, not the attractive veins in his hands. "It's the last fragrance my dad released before he . . . I got it taken down from the website, so now I'm the only one with access to it. It's kinda selfish."
"Don't you find it weird that I keep asking questions that circle back to your dad?"
"I don't mind." He finally smiled, and I felt my heart flutter inside my chest. Immediately, I scolded my body for reacting that way. I knew I shouldn't have drunk as much as I did tonight—my mom would ground me until I was fifty-five if she found out—but over the past few months, I'd discovered that alcohol was my go-to whenever I was trying to distract myself. It helped me pass time. It blurred my senses.
And at the time, doing anything was better than trying to spot Takoda in the crowd and subsequently trying to get him to notice me.
"You're just saying that."
"I'm serious." He lay back down. "It feels nice to talk about him while knowing nothing I say is going to end up in some e-magazine or gossip blog by tomorrow morning."
"So that's the part you have a problem with?"
He took a moment to respond that time, and I almost thought he wasn't going to. "Basically, yeah."
