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Given how long it has been since I have seen my best friend, I decided that we should, as a family, pay her a visit.

It is the winter holidays so Tshidi is also here for her school break. I called ahead and she invited us to stay at their house for the duration of our stay. I was not going to pass on the opportunity.

"Nandi! Nkoe!" she comes running to hug us as we stand in the entrance of the home.

"Hi." "Hey, love."

"You two look great, these must be your nieces and nephews."

"Meet Tshidi, Dintle, Tsebo and Kathleho." she waves at them and they wave back. "This is my best friend, Lindiwe."

"Hey guys, Well, they will take your stuff to your rooms, the kids can go freshen up before dinner or take a nap, whatever they would love to do right now and we can go gossip in the sitting room."

"Where is Harald?"

"He should be back by now, uhm, he went to go visit his parents, they are feeling a bit blue without him constantly around."

"Oh, so why do you not live with them?"

"Until we make me pregnant, we are not going to disturb his parents with our constant, I mean constant baby making."

"Oh, so if we were not here..." she smirks before taking a sip of her tea.

"I am constantly drinking this tea, to help me become fertile, I am not allowed any alcohol, we are eating healthy, exercising, we are doing it all and I just hate that we have to put in all this effort."

"Maybe just stop," Nandi suggests

"If I am not pregnant soon, I will be called barren and I refuse to be called barren or defeminized."

"I am sorry love but I think the stress of getting pregnant, is stopping you from getting pregnant."

"You really think so?" we both nod and she reclines. "Well fuck. I'm gonna stop drinking this tea, it tastes so bad." we erupt in laughter. "And I really hate doing all of this."

"Yeah, bring the wine out."

"Okay, let me go ask Samantha." she stands up and heads out.

"Beautiful house."

"It truly is but nothing says Lindiwe here."

"Maybe she is worried about what everyone will say."

"She shouldn't be, they should be worried about what she will say, I wonder if she is truly happy here."

"Okay, got the wine." she places three glasses on the table and pours for us all.

"Thank you, babe, I wanted to know, are you happy here and I do not mean with Harald, I know he makes you happy, but are you happy in this country." she looks up before taking a sip of her wine.

"If I am being honest, I hate it but I don't want to tell him because he loves this place."

"What's wrong?"

"I feel like everyone is laughing at me behind my back, like there is some joke that I am always unaware of. Everyone speaks this language that I am only learning now, everyone has all this culture and these traditions that I am now learning while also learning how to be a fucking Duchess. It's so hard and the only happy part, Harald, he is gone all day fulfilling his duties and taking care of his parents, I hate this so much."

"I'm sorry baby."

"I do not mind being married, currently loving that but being in this country has been hell for me."

"They are the OG colonisers." Nandi comments

"That could be it."

"You think?" we nod. "I just want to be married to my husband and fuck on a balcony without being afraid of being photographed and berated."

"Girl, be serious."

"I am being so serious, everyone wants to see the ape in the palace," she says before chuckling and taking a gulp of her wine. "I fucking hate this place. I thought I would have to do a lot of volunteering work but that is so much easier than the things people write about me and it's hard staying away."

"I am sorry baby."

"All marriages are hard work, right?"

"Ups and downs." we all burst into laughter before Harald walks in. 

"Hey guys."  we wave at him while she gets up to hug him. "Hallo mijn liefje," he whispers into her ear. "You okay?" she nods before letting go. "Let me leave you guys to it, then." he holds her hand before letting go and leaving the room.

She watches as he leaves and hangs her head before facing us yet again. She is screaming for help and he truly can not hear.

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