one step forward

and you still stayed with me?

"hmm.. i overslept this morning" i came up with an excuse.

"well, gavi, don't worry, i won't tell anyone about your lies" i heard his laugh. he knows me!

"nevertheless, will you come to us tonight?" pedri asked me and i thought for a second.

i definitely won't go alone, because i am not going to leave valerie. but can she come with me and surprise everyone? after all, no one except her family and me know, that she has finally returned.

"yes" i answered shortly, we said goodbye to each other and hung up the call.

i returned to valerie in the room and sat next to her, looking at her face, slightly obscured by her fluffy hair shining in the rays from the lamp. i thought, that my gaze stopped at her very briefly: for a couple of seconds or even less, but in reality i froze. i couldn't take my eyes off her and various thoughts were running through my head, but the strongest one was the one, in which i couldn't believe, that she was sitting in front of me. it seems, that over this long time i have already come to terms with the fact, that i have lost the love of my life, but it turns out that miracles do happen. i am incredibly grateful to fate for giving me such a chance and helping me to find the way to my one and only again.

VALERIE'S POV

faster, faster.

this is all, that was in my head, while i wasted time in the toilet and tried to hide my scars and cuts with concealer. they were left by me in the most terrible period of my life, which still makes itself felt.

"my love, is everything alright?" i heard gavi's quiet concerned voice, and then a knock on the closed door.

"yes.. yes, everything is fine" my voice definitely gave everything away, but i tried to hide the truth as best i could.

at that very second, when i opened the door, i was caught by him. his concerned eyes were stuck at me, he tried to read my emotions to find lies in them. he tried to save me so bad, but i didn't give him that chance.

"are you sure everything is okay? i hope, your illness hasn't returned to you?" he took my hand, when it shook a little. his touch calmed me.

"believe me, it hasn't returned and i hope never again. i am fine" i was not fine.

i mean, everything seems to be great. seasons, days and weeks change. everything should be forgotten by now. time passes as usual, but my experiences and suffering don't disappear. this pain of loss will forever remain with me, and will never leave me, because a piece of my soul is already somewhere in heaven. they say, that time heals, but it doesn't. time only sets priorities and helps you understand what is really important. in fact, it is people, things around you and your attitude, that heal. as long as you look for the bad in everything, it will appear in your life. but finding even the tiniest ray of light in a person, in a favorite activity or in anything else, your life will change and the loss will be forgotten. it won't go away, but you will learn to live with it. i haven't learned yet.

"so you ready to go?" he asked me, still holding my hand.

"yes, but.." i couldn't hide everything anymore.