Flames of That Night

Chapter 11

"If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman."

-Margaret Thatcher

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I sat on the bed with my wedding dress on, eyeing the stick that was taunting me. I mentally counted the minutes to pass by to finally see the results as silence lingered in the air. The ill sensation in my stomach wanted it to be no more than imaginary.

But I knew better than that.

I never gave much thought to that possibility not even when my sleeping pattern started to change and not to forget those unusual cravings that started recently.

Not after skipping my periods by a week.

My head spins and sweat slicks my skin
by just imagining what if my doubts comes out true? A shudder passes through me by the mere thought of it.

I had neglected all the clear signs from past one week as that single thought brought back all the bone-chilling memories of that night, when I had woken up naked beside a stranger with no memories of the previous night.

A disgusting shiver passes through me just reminiscising his dirty hands on my body. I was so terrified that morning that I didn't even stay back a minute there, to look at that bastard's face.

I just remember blacking out completely in the hallway before a stranger held me up in his arms. Whatever happened that night I definitely know that I was not in right state of my mind. Infact there was no way I could have lost my conscious and blacked out on my own, unless it was some ploy.

The splitting headache & dizziness I had that morning made my assumption of having some kind of drug in my body stronger. My skin prickles and a nauseating feeling erupts in my gut by remembering that fateful night.

No.. no don't allow your thoughts to drift there.

I don't want to remember a single moment of that dreadful night.

But it's already too late. A voice in my mind speaks. I push it back, the same way I pushed all the nightmares aside from previous 4 weeks. It was the night of my life I couldn't never forget.

The night I lost my chastity to the scoundrel who probably used me that night for his feral desires.

What if I'm pregnant.... My body went cold and hot simultaneously, flight and fright responses kicking in. What the fuck am I going to do with a baby?

I start fidgeting unconsciously with nervousness seeing the little plastic sticks that are placed a little away from me, clearly a foot or two away.

But I couldn't gather the courage to pass that little distance feeling like a huge rock is placed on me.

It was now or never.

Just move. Just get up .

But I couldn't take a step ahead.

Finally I reach out my trembling hands to the three different pregnancy tests that are lying infront of me.

'No.. no....god please don't let it happen', I chanted the same words repeatedly in my mind as I took them into my hand.

But like all other time he didn't listen my prayers. My eyes glistened with unshed tears my throat constricting as I saw the two faint lines appeared on all three of them.