Playing Hard to Get (August Alsina Story)

When I'm Gone

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
-Eminem

°Camila°
They say be careful about what you wish for.....

Flower arrangements are all over the building with many different pictures of me throughout my life.
Some are wearing black while others are wearing white, but everyone has wet eyes.

I watch as my guest give their full attention to Pastor Jakes as his voice booms through the microphone.
"We come today to celebrate a great life, one that has ended to soon, but now lies in the hands of He that made us." He says.
"At peace, no pain, no worries, no stress, but peace."
He paused for a second to white the sweat beads off his balled head with his handy handkerchief.
He's always been a very bad sweater.

"Brothers and sisters I've tried to prepare myself for this very moment all week long. Trying to find the right words to say, reflecting the life of such precious soul. I've watched as Camila sprout from a little girl to a young woman, with so many dreams. I watched as she accomplish them and each time she set bigger and tougher goals. This is a great lost, but we will not question God's purpose."

"We also come together to pay our respects and show love to the family. Our hearts are drawn to them and will continue to be with them through their darkest hours."
"I ask if everyone would bows their heads for a quick prayer for them."
Everyone bowed their heads.

"Father God we pray that family and close friends of Camila seek and receive comfort. It is in human nature to question and want to understand everything now, but I am calling on you today to show them the way, keep their faith strong Father God and guide them to a clearer path. Tell them that it is OK to cry, that it is healthy to mourn the lost of a daughter, cousin, friend, lover. In the name we pray, amen." He ended.

"Amen." Everyone said after him.

The church is packed with and I stop and speak to a few but they don't notice me, they actually look right past me.

The choir stands to their feet and sings my favorite gospel song, Father Can You Hear Me as each row comes to the front of the church. I'm curious so I wait my turn and follow close behind. When I get to the front, I see me, I question myself if I'm looking at a mirror.

Sleeping beauty....
Daddy has dressed me in my finest, my hair is down and my makeup is on heavier then I like, but I must admit I look pretty damn good.

Then it all comes to me, I sharply turn.

I see August struggling to stand, he's crying on his mom's shoulder. He has his brother and sister here as well. I then notice Chandra and the girls, they cry at how hurt their beloved uncle is.

I move to Lani, she's standing over me, I watch as she grabs my face and holds it.
"Why'd you have to leave me?" She ask.

I go to my dad, I try get to him as fast as I can. At first he's not paying attention. Then out of no where his eyes look at me and I run to him with open arms, but as soon as I touch him everything goes black again.
-

I'm in the middle of the living room where everyone is gathered. I smell collared greens, macaroni, fried chicken, and the sweet smell of blueberry pie. All of my favorites.

Jamie is sitting at the dinner table trying to hold her own all while trying to comfort her my dad. My mother is staring at a bottle of liquor in the kitchen. I watch as she's crying. She opens up the bottle and pours it down the drain.
"You ruined my life!" She yells at bottle with in a broken voice.

"Can I get you anything?" My coworker, T asks her.

"Yeah you could, bring me back to the day I first held my baby in my arms, the first day she said my name, when she took her first steps, went to school, all of those moments. Can you do that?" She snapped.
She didn't get an answer and turned to the guests. She asked again, this time to everyone and yet again no one answered.

She held her hand over her mouth and ran outside to my dad's garden. She sat down and picked up a few flowers.
"I'm sorry baby girl, I hope you can understand." She said crying.

I looked up and noticed familiar slumped shoulders, it was August.
I went over to him.
"Why aren't you inside with everyone?" I asked.

He knitted his eyebrows together. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw you and wanted to talk to you."
He smiled.

"It couldn't wait huh? You know this is bad luck right?" He asked while sipping from his famous red cup.

"What? I asked confused.

"A groom isn't suppose to see his bride before their married, you know this but I must admit you match my fly."

I was confused by what he was saying. I looked down, puzzled and noticed I was dressed in the most amazing wedding dress ever. All white just how I like it.
I feel like a mermaid except I'm not in water, my train behind me is never ending.
He walked over to me, lifting my veil. You're so beautiful and I can't wait ta' spend the rest of my life with you." He kissed my nose.

"Is this real?" I asked.

"Of course. Don't get cold feet on me now, you gave me hell about how perfect you wanted this to be."

I laughed at him.
"Go back inside before someone notices us." He said.
I nodded and turned around to go back into the house.

I opened the door but turned back around,
"August?" I said called to him.

He didn't hear me. I ran over to him but I noticed the more I ran, the further away he was, but I didn't stop, I wouldn't stop until I reached him, picking up the ends of my dress I kept running and running until I finally had him at my finger tips, he smiles briskly then everything went black again.....