Perfect Nightmare

Chapter 20

After what felt like hours Xavier indicates that I should get off but being my stubborn self I refuse. So in true Xavier fashion he carries me downstairs into his office. He deposits me on the couch while he goes to his desk to work. After a few minutes I get bored so I decide to annoy him.

"Xavi." I say in the sweetest voice possible.

"Mmh." He replies without looking up from what's he's reading.

"Why do you like calling me by my first name." I've noticed whenever Xavier wants to sound serious he calls me Camilla or Mila and I want to know the reason why.

"Well, I love the name Camilla or Mila and not many people call you that so it's like my own special nickname for you. But what I don't understand is why you hate it." He replies looking up and straight at me.

"Dove is a bird that represents peace and as a bird it could fly away to better places to forget all the problems of that place. Even though everyone at my last lack treated me well and didn't exclude me but I still felt like I didn't belong. It was a constant reminder I wasn't one of them. So the name Dove felt like an escape from reality. But for you I'll make an exception." I say while trying very hard to control my tears.

I've never told anyone that and getting it off my chest felt liberating.

"Don't worry love, you will get your wolf soon." He says while handing me a box of tissues.

Even though Xavier is being super supportive right now. I hate being sorry about myself so I asked him if there is anything I could help him with. So the rest the of the day I helped Xavier organise his papers into neat piles and put them away in files. We only took a break to eat.

~~
It's been three days and I still haven't felt anything remotely close that could indicate my first shift. So by the end of the third day I give up and finally accept that I'm meant to be human forever.

I climb into and sleep on the farthest side away from Xavier. I know I've been ignoring Xavier lately but ever since that day we haven't been intimate again. Even kissing him was a challenge cause he reminded me of what I wanted but couldn't have. I know it isn't his fault but it's hard to accept it.

During the night I started to feel weird like all my body was on fire. I kicked the blanket and turning on the ac to the lowest temperature but I still felt hot.

"Xavier, wake u-up." I try to wake him up. It was a struggle trying to speak since it felt like every muscle, bone and nerve was protesting.

"Dove, what's wrong." He says sleepy.

"Something isn't r-right. It h-hurts." Feeling my body temperature Xavier quickly yanks his hand away and carries me outside.

"You're having your first shift." Xavier tells me while running down the stairs.

First shift? That means I'm getting my wolf. Even though I'm in tremendous amounts of pain but I still feel excited.

Xavier gently lays me down on a grassy patch and guides me through the shift. I scream when I feel my bones breaking and rearranging them to fit my new form.

Suddenly I feel the pain stop and I see paws and claws where my hands and fingers once were.

"How are you feeling?" I hear a voice ask from within my head. Is this how psychosis starts?

"You aren't psychotic. This is called mind link. This is how our wolves can communicate, I thought you would know that." I soon recognise the voice as Xavier as he comes to stand in front of me in his wolf form.

Seeing Xavier's wolf I realise I've met his wolf before when he came to visit our pack and I got lost in the dark.

"I'm glad you remembered me, love. Now how about a run?" I can barely walk straight. How does he expect me to run.

"No need to overthink it, love. Just take one step in front of the other." He makes it sound so simple. So taking his advice into account I try exactly that and I'm surprised how simple it is.

I don't know how much time has passed since we've started playing and chasing each other around. This is soo much fun, no wonder almost every wolf loved doing this back home. Xavier leds me to the river when for the first time I get to see my wolf.

"You're stunning." Xavier says through our mind link. Xavier isn't wrong is my fur is pristine white. So white it resembles freshly fallen snow. My trout, paws and the tip of my tail are the only part that are black. My eyes are caramel coloured, the exact colour of Xavier's eyes in human form.

Right now my life is perfect I've got a caring mate who I love and I've got my greatest wish. What more could I wish for.

Hey loves,

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