My Forever Transgression..(Bill Skarsgard)(Roman Godfrey)

28] Great Big City

(One year and a half later)

Everything changed. The birds came in and pilfered the memories away. Every single memory but the moments with Aaron. I wish the birds took them away for good, not leave them stranded to where I can find them.

Everything did change. I got a letter from the University of Columbia in NYC, the Ivy League.

"I can't find it.." I say with disarray.

"It's right there!" my mom says, eager to see it.

"Where??" I question.

"Ana, look!"  and I look over, it's on the grass, covered and soaked with water.

"Oh..." I say.

"It's fine, the words will still be on there." my mom speaks out trying to cheer me up.

I run to the grass, fall on my knees, and pick up the big folder. My mom comes in after me.

I close my eyes and inhale.

"I wish Alfonso and Roman were here. Sorry it's just us." she apologizes. I really like that it's just us.

"It's ok." completely ok.

I'm opening it up and right when I can barely see anything....

I go to the last drawer of my things. All of my lingerie. I'm not even sure if I would need it. Well, when Aaron goes to visit me maybe I will.

I grin, biting my smiley lip.

It's a crazy thought. I've been doing online courses for a year and a half and now I am actually going to New York for a few more years. 

I grab the drawer, take it out, and neatly put it in my third duffle bag.

Someone knocks on the door behind me. "Hello?" they say.

I turn around and there I see Alfonso. I grab my bed cover, fixating it over my lingerie.

"Hi." I smile.

"Are you ready?" he's coming closer, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Almost." I sigh.

He's smiling at me. "You nervous?"

I chuckle. "Yeah. I mean, I've saved money and I'm ready but the thought of being by myself is,"

"Nerve-racking. Though New York is the city of love and inception. I know you'll love it."

I'm curious. I'm a transparent wall. I'm pure shame.

He notices my question already.

"And Roman?" I ask. "How has he been?"

"My question exactly." I break.

It was a shield so helpless but fearless. So inquisitive but visible. And it broke.

"I haven't seen him in four months. I attempted to call him but it's no doubt he changed his number." He clasps his hands together, looks down. "I simply don't understand what I did."

I do. I understand what I did. I understand why he did it. Me. I challenged him. I disobeyed him. I got him back for hurting me.

"He's a 28-year-old man. He knows what he's doing. I only expect he had told me he was leaving." I grab his hand.

"You didn't do anything. I can promise you," the words spill out like hot tea. It's burning my lips. "You didn't do anything."

"You're a good girl," he says. "I hope you'll love the City."