Celia and Eve

Chapter 4:The Flame of Fame

As I ascended to the summit of my profession, clutching each accolade tightly, I couldn't help but ponder the nature of success. Is it truly a measure of one's worth or merely a fleeting validation?

The glint of the Oscars and Golden Awards I won were dazzling, but they only served to remind me of the true light in my life: Eve. With each step I took towards fame, I knew that without her, the world would be nothing but an empty stage. She was the main character in my play.

What is an award, after all, but a fleeting expression of admiration from those who are only familiar with us through our work? The love we have for one another is a much better reward; it is an eternal flame that shines brightly and leads us through the shadow of ambiguity.

The great Khalil Gibran once said, "The most beautiful moments always seem to accelerate and slip beyond one's grasp just when you want to hold onto them for as long as possible," and as I sit here with a script in hand, I am reminded of those wise words. But with Eve by my side, I am appreciative of each moment that we have together and treat it as though it were a priceless gem.

Life is short, and happy days are even more so. I discovered that I was afraid of loneliness for the first time in my life. Me? Whose only close friend was a horse, whose car is a two seater only because they don't sell a solo-seater one. I'm now worried that I'll miss her daily 9:30 call and count the days until I get to see her on the weekend.

I found courage and strength in her arms to defy the doubters and shun fame's trappings. I found my muse; I will therefore keep on creating, while always remembering that true success is found in the love that fills my heart rather than in the awards on the shelf.

I am an Oscar winner and a household name at only twenty-two years of age, but I want more—way much more—now that I know how. I want to excel, and instead of delivering a performance, I want to showcase a master-class at each opportunity. Being a part of Hollywood history is not enough; I want to create a new history worthy of my name, where acting reaches the depth of every word a poet has ever written and every painting a painter has ever imagined. That's what champions do. I was destined to be the best, and I'll always be a pioneer. I'm going to make my craft worthy of its name as an art—the seventh art—and give it the respect it deserves.

***

"Was she beautiful?" Eve asked me while I was telling her about this new actress that I met at Vivian's birthday party last week. She doesn't go to those parties with me, and before that she was in France filming her new movies. We haven't seen each other for almost three months, so when we finally got together that weekend, we couldn't stop fighting, which was great because we always make out after every fight. Sometimes we provoke a fight just so we can have angry sex right after. This time we were in her pool when she asked.

"Why don't you come with me next time and see her yourself?" I replied.

"You know I can't go to Vivian's parties"

"Why? So they don't question your precious image, the sexy woman who looooves men," I said, teasing her. I know she hates it when I push her boundaries, but she looks hot when she's mad.

"Again? Cece, you know that I need to protect my image, that's all I have, if they take it away from me. My career is over, and I am only twenty three, I don't want my career to be over now, because of some dyke's birthday party"

"Oh! She's a dyke and you are not?"

"I am not, Celia I am not like Vivian and I don't want to be, that's not who I am"

"Eve, you are in love with me, you can't let a day pass by without talking to me or write to me, I am not your friend, I am your girlfriend, your lover you are sleeping with me, godammit"