~Him~

Chapter 13: Broken

Last night was so perfect.

We lay in bed together , in each other's arms. I barry my head into his neck smiling to myself.
I can't believe how this boy made me feel such things in less than a week.

As I close my eyes , I felt movement.
It was billie trying to get up.
As he got up from bed he grabbed his shirt .
"This was a mistake" he whispered to himself.

My heart sank.
"What?" I whispered.
"I'm sorry Jules, but this was a big step that we took. This was a mistake I'm sorry. " He said looking down.
" what do you mean this was a mistake? Did I do something wrong?" I said angrily.
" we did something that no one ever did with me? Now you think this was a mistake?"
" I said I'm sorry jules, we were drunk. It's nothing special anyway. " He said shouting.

"Well it is to me" I said putting on my clothes, making my way out of the house.
"Jules wait" he sighed.
" no billie, I'm done. How could you not see that sleeping with me is special to me? Look I know we are moving way to fast. But to think I was starting to like you, and giving you something valuable like last night. It is a pretty fucking big deal "
I heart is racing , tears are slowly starting to form in my eyes.

Without letting him explain. I turn around grabbing my bag. And put of billies house I was ..

I feel like my whole world just collapsed.  Not because of billie.
It's the idea that I finally let myself go with a boy, then get told it was too much.

How can I ever my good enough for anyone? It breaks me that he think it was a mistake.
Why would he think that? Is there someone else?  Was he using me? Was I that bad?.

As I entered my house , I make my way straight to my room.
As I lay on my bed , tears started falling from my eyes.
I couldn't stop crying.
Why am I feeling like this?.
Why did he ask me on dates if he knew he couldn't be with me?

I shouldn't even feel this way , we had nothing to begin with.
We rushed into things to fast.
It's time to move on from that, and carry on with my life.

I decided to call Emily to ask if we could go out tonight..
Maybe that would help me.
I walk to the kitchen where the phone was and slowly dialed her number.

" Hey ems, how are you?" I asked sniffing.
" hey Jules, I'm good. Are you alright?" She asked worried.
" Yeah, some personal things.  I was wondering if you were busy, maybe we could go out ?" I asked.

" Sorry Jules, I would love to but I'm currently babysitting " she said disappointed.
"Oh okay, it's fine dw. I'm sorry for bothering you" I said looking down.
" Wait wait wait, soooo I know you don't like nirvana but they are playing next week Saturday. I got one free ticket. Can you pleaseeee pleaseee pleasee come with me?" She asked begging.

I took a second just to think about it.
I have to put my problems with kurt behind, maybe start fresh.

" Yes ofcourse I will!" I said smiling.

"Wait really??" She asked . I could hear her jumping up and down.
"Yessss, I'm looking forward to it ems!"
"I can't wait!! But I have to go.
See you tomorrow "

And like that I couldn't stop thinking about the concert.
Maybe I could talk things out with Kurt?
Like good old times.

I'm actually looking forward to it.
And that I can't believe.