DIRT: the grunge diaries (𝒱𝒾𝒸𝓉𝑜𝓇𝒾𝒶'𝓈 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃)

entry #105 - what the hell have I

'Call me Victoria, we are brothers and I am future doctor too !' I speak, totally unrelated to the topic being discussed, because I'm trying to postpone the moment I'll get honest with the doctor, blush, cry a little, and hide my head on my lover's chest. I am never shy, unless I'm in front of a doctor who asks me questions about my sex life, and shyness is really coming through now. I'd like to be swallowed by a dark hole, disappear from Earth and only come back when my prescription is ready to be picked up at the pharmacy. But I'd also like it, if the doctor called me by my first given name, instead of Miss Khair. More like, Miss Khaeeeeerrrr. I love the thick Iraqi accent he pronounces my last name with, but ain't calling me like that too unnecessarily formal ? We are Arab brothers! We are speaking English just because my best friend and my non boyfriend are here, and we want to make sure they can understand our exchange ! His wife is Palestinian like me! From Ramallah, like my maternal grandmother! I am from Iraq like him, according to Gerry ! And I am a future colleague! Can it get any more intimate than this? Maybe yes... I were a future human doctor, instead of a future pupper doctor. But still, I will save lives, and it makes me doctor !

'Call me Rami. And tell me, Victoria ... when was the last time you had unprotected sex? Only Victoria speaks, please '. The doctor... I mean, Rami, speaks, and I giggle uncontrollably when he acknowledges me as a colleague. I giggle even harder, when he tries to act like he's the moderator of this exchange, by telling me that I'm the only one who's entitled to answer this question. Because he is smart, familiar with my escorts' ways, especially Sean's, and he knows that if he doesn't shut the man up by the premises, he's gonna chime in and speak in behalf of me in his very usual, clowny way. And for as funny as Sean can be, when he's in his best clowny outfit, I think it's just time to be serious now, and we all agree here. Bessie is nodding. The doctor is nodding too. Sean is putting on a mock pout. And I'm here, feeling like I may as well finally say my truth without being too embarrassed.

'Um... before coming here'. I speak, honestly enough, twiddling my thumbs and trying not to think too much about not so long ago, in my hotel room, when I was bent over my vanity, and my clowny, horny lover was pumping all of his cum inside of me from behind. Holding my hand, and telling me that he loves me and the way I moan for him, when he fills me to the bone. I've been honest with Rami, but I forgot to mention that my haram habibi pumped some cum inside of me even when I was riding him this afternoon, and also when he was doing me in sweet, loving missionary, this morning. We generally fuck once, maybe twice a day when it's a good day... but what can I say? We were horny today, pretty starved of one another, very in the mood for cum in the veevee, and that's why we're here today. Unlike yesterday... we have a reason to ask for emergency contraception. And I don't know if it's anxiety or a baby Syria inside of me, but I feel a very weird tingling sensation in my stomach. More or less like I need to throw up right here and right now.

'When was the last time you had your periods?' The doctor, I mean, Rami, asks, and I definitely do jump off Sean's lap at a question I wasn't expecting at all. This question in itself makes me feel even more nervous than the creampie-related questions of not so long ago... and help, I don't think I know how to answer this one. I know he's asking me this because he wants to know in which cycle phase I am, to see if the can give me the pill or no, but my cycle phase is total absence of cycle. It's been a while since I've last had my periods, no one knows it, not even my beautiful doctor mama ... and now Bessie, Sean and my new Iraqi friend are gonna find it out altogether. Bessie and I share the oxygen every day of our lives, we live in the same house, and she never really noticed that I don't have any pads or tampons in my toilet drawer. My non boyfriend boyfriend thinks I'm normal, while not even my hormones are. And the doctor's gonna worry and refrain from prescribing me the pill, if I tell him I haven't seen a drop of blood off my nethers for the longest time. But I will choose honesty... it's medicine we're talking about, not peaches and cream, and as a future doctor and daughter of a doctor, I know that honesty is key for diagnosis.