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"God, I love you so much," Kit whispers against my neck before kissing it gently

When we are moving, kit moves his hands all around my body, i feel my eyes well up. I try hard not to let Kit know that I'm crying. I mean, well, close to crying.

The good thing is that he can't see my face, so there's that. After about five minutes, I burst into tears, and I can tell Kit is worried, and he slows down and then stops.

I'm still lying on my stomach when kit lays next to me and moves my hair out of my face

"Hey, what's wrong, baby?" He asks

I shake my head and continue crying

"Did I hurt you?" He says softly

I shake my head again, and kit sits up and picks me up, puts me on his lap, and hugs me tight

"Shhh, it's okay," he says, rubbing my back

I sob onto his shoulder, kit kisses my head, and continue to rub my back, comforting me, I calm down like 15 minutes later.

Kit looks at my face, then kisses the tip of my nose, then smiles. My eyes are still red and puffy, but I've calmed down.

i look over at our clothes on the floor. i slowly get out of kits lap, and i pick up my clothes

"Not feeling it anymore?" Kit asks softly

i nod slowly before getting off the bed

"im gonna shower," i say quietly

"okay darling"

i walk over to the bathroom, and i shut the door, and i turn on the shower, and then i get in.

After about an hour or so, i get out, and i wrap a towel around my waist, and i walk back into our room, and kit is dressed and on the phone

Kit looks up from his phone and looks at me

"Feeling a bit better now?"

i slowly get out some clean clothes and look at kit

"Mhm."

I walk back into the bathroom and slowly start getting dressed. i walk out, and i sit in kodas' room, and i take him out of his viv, and i start handling him.

As I do that for about twenty minutes, Kit walks in and leans on the door frame and looks down at me

"You okay?" He asks

"Yeah," I say quietly

"You sure?" He asks sweetly, then sits next to me

"I'm fine." I snap

"Hey, no need to snap at me. I'm just making sure you're okay, " he says, moving my hair out my face

"Mhm," I nod

"You gonna tell me about what happened earlier?"

"Just wasn't feeling it anymore," I say quietly

"It's wasn't just that, was it? You started sobbing out of nowhere, " he says, playing with my hair

I stand up and put koda back in his viv and shut it. Walking out the room and downstairs.

I sit on the sofa and scroll through tiktok. Kit comes downstairs and sits next to me

"Stop ignoring the question, riv." he says

I ignore him and continue scrolling through tiktok. Kit gently moves my phone out of my hand and puts it on the floor

"River, don't ignore me," he says softly,

I don't say anything, and I start fidgeting with my jumper sleeves

"Talk to me," he says, moving a little closer to me

"I just felt really dysphoric today..." I mumbles

"Why darling?" He asks, taking my hands into his

"I don't know, my scars, how I wasn't born a guy," I say in almost a whisper

Kit nods and kisses the tip of my nose

"It happens sometimes when like we get really intimate," I say quietly, trying not to stress myself out again

"Maybe when we do get like that, we can have the lights off and a safe word?" He asks

I smile slightly and nod

"Can I pick the safe word?" I ask

"Of course darling,"

"Umm, red?" I ask softly

Kit smiles, then nods and kisses my forehead

"Yeah, we can do that," he says, caressing my cheek

Sorry its a short chapter

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