The black string of friendship〰️

Chapter One: Our first meeting

My ears could not bear to listen to these words and those sounds
.. My heart could not bear the amount of psychological harm... and these shattering insults to the soul’s being
..The matter has become too much
.. I feel that I was created in this world to be a bag in which carry the
pressures of life
Or like a hanger-on which which carry the charges and the causes of all the problems
Or like an insect... shunned by everyone, and whenever someone sees her, he tries to hit her against the wall, but she runs away. She ran away to her room, burying her head in her pillow
She sleeps to live in her dreams...or more precisely, her nightmares
...then she wakes up and her life cycle continues... of insults and
accusations
isn't death better than life like this??
...It's a life I wouldn't wish for...no matter how much I hate it
...I wish I could fall into a sleep from which I would never wake up
And in the dark wing of the night
.. Under the darkness of the quiet street.. and everyone is asleep
..You will only hear sounds from my house
.. The sound of the bomb under its rubble... and the volcano buried under its dust
A big war in my home ..
...And I am like a slave who does nothing but fear and silence
... at that moment
I made the decision to rebel, which I had not taken in a while
... I couldn't help myself... and decided to preserve what was left of my health... if it existed at all.
...I took my phone.. and some pounds
...and ran away from the house
.. In the darkness of the street .. and the terrifying emptiness
Every time I take a step, I feel like there is someone behind me
Whether it was someone in my home.. or a kidnapper who came in the dead of night... or
...Even a monster ..that we have been afraid of since we were young
My steps continued quickly...and I moved away from this black house
..And how I wish I would never enter it again
...I would rather sleep in the street than what happens in it
...And fortunately for me.. we live in a city overlooking the river
Where I throw all my worries to drown there and never think about them again
And prepare to receive new worries
Sometimes I sit in front of it and discuss with him... and I find it interacting... and the wind blows to move it still water.
Does this river suffer from problems like the ones I suffer from??
Or does " he" have feelings??? Unlike human beings??
... Recently.. I discovered that the most emotionless creatures are humans
Not all of them...or maybe all of them are effective...except me
Is having feelings considered a disease??? Why am I the only one who thinks, gets affected, feels sad, and cries... for me?
My condition..and the condition of others
.. All people only think about themselves.. They never think about the lives of others.
.. Whether their family, children, or friends
Is it considered a disease if I am affected to this degree by what is happening around me??
..I don't know
.. Wait, river??? Why don't we talk more?? Sometimes I feel comfortable talking to you
...I don't have anyone in my life that I can talk to ..And no one can bear what I am going to tell you now Are you ready to listen???
.... .... .... ..... .....
... in another place
...but at the same time...at 2 o'clock at the dawn
I sat listening to that voice, which I hate to hear, and I hear nothing else
..a harmful sound..that has two effects worse than the other on myself
...The first is...it has an effect on my mind
...as I remember that day...the worst day of my life
Despite his age, I still remember him completely
.. Whenever I hear that sound.. I remember that day
That black tape is restarted... and the tear glands that were about to be damaged due to... are restarted
..Unfortunately, I cannot do anything about these horrible memories except cry
...This is the first effect...a mental effect and bringing back bad memories
As for the second effect, it is a physical effect. I see it with my own eyes
...and I watch that meter... it goes up and down... and it goes up and down
...then it rises and falls
I hope it stays like this... I can't wait to watch it repeat his actions... despite my hatred for him
“Every time it completes a cycle, it makes a sound... “Tit...tit...tit.”
..And I do nothing but watch it
.. It is a miserable life.. I do nothing but cry and wait
...and recalling memories...the sweet and the bitter
... Someone entered me... wearing a blue scrub and a mask
Then he told me: Please excuse me. You have to go out. Children are not allowed here. We will begin the operation Surgery
...I did nothing but submit to his desires and leave
..I quickly left the room.. I couldn't help myself
My knees gave up on me and I fell to the ground and burst into tears
...I felt like this was the last time I heard that voice
I left that place... my tears were with me
...And I went to that nearby walkway... in front of the river
.. I wish I could throw myself into it.. and get rid of this life
...I want to forget everything around me
.....And I think
..How will I live alone? Without a family..????
In front of the calm of the cold river... the wind moved and hit its water
.. The slight moonlight was reflected on its waters
...and calm prevailed...in the entire place
There is no one at this late hour...in this quiet place
...Except one person...I saw him standing there
...I turned to it
..and soon it saw me..and turned to me
It was a short person...in fact, she seemed to be a young girl...in early middle school, for example.
The existence of people at that time meant only one thing
...which is that we suffer...in addition to loneliness
...and with slow steps.. she headed towards me
...As for me, I imitated her and turned to her
And here was the first meeting... in front of the river... on that walkway... at that hour.
.. Both of us stood up
..a big height difference..and yet there does not seem to be a big difference in age
... She looked like she had a round, innocent face. She had long brown hair. And small eyes that radiated false hope.
.. She was very thin and seemed weak
.. I feel that her face is not strange to me.. I think that she is in the same school with me
..But on the other hand
that short girl talked to herself...and looked at the other one
She was tall, with short black hair, her delicate features were older than her years, and her face seemed intelligent.
...perhaps cunning in the worst cases
..But she was overshadowed by the sad, frowning face She was tall and had a good physical body, indicating her health
Isn't she that smart girl in our class??
I started talking first :
Are not you the smartest girl in our class ?..
Marin: Oh.. How did you know me??
_: I felt proud of my class when you ranked second in our high school level in the competition for IQ
That's why most people in school know you
Marin: That's true. I know a lot of our schoolmates. But I've never seen you before. And I didn't expect you to be the same age as me _ :This does not matter.. I do not know many people: ..
Marin: Why are you here in this time?? _: Nothing.. I was smelling some good air:..
marin was silent for a while.. Then she said: What is your name?? _: My name is julian...
..Marin: Nice to meet you .. julian: Me too
.. Both of us remained standing in front of the river
.. It was as if both of us had a lot of words inside herself.. and we ere about to explode because of the many secrets it contained.
..But we were unable to say anything
..There are many secrets that cannot be revealed to anyone easily
..But in a situation like this, both of us were unable to remain silent
..and each of us revealed what was inside her..perhaps it was a mistake of age..or the beginning of a new life with a new friend.
julian began her speech in a calm voice with tears in her eyes: And
you... why are you here??
Marin: I'm going through a rather bad situation... and I don't want to see it with my own eyes
..So I decided to escape from it
I came here to throw myself into the river and get rid of all these problems
..I didn't talk
...and whenever one of us spoke, the other remained silent for a while, as if she was thinking carefully about what he was going to say.
...They are secrets that cannot be revealed...and one must be careful when saying anything
I suspect that julian would like to ask what this situation is.. She said:
Are you suffering from something in your life??
Marin: Something??? .. hmm..
...It's a lot of things.. I don't wish them for anyone
For a moment, julian felt like she was exaggerating Then she stepped back and started thinking
.. Then she knew that there were other people suffering like her
....And here she said: Me too
...But one must endure...until one dies
Marin was silent for a while... as if I said a word that touched a bad memory for her... so she said
Marin: No.. He must endure.. and resist.. and not die ...There are many loved ones who need him
..
I said quietly: There is no one who needs me.. Therefore, I have no value here and no one will care
...Marin did not speak..and kept thinking
Then Marin asked an unexpected question. Perhaps she wanted to change the topic
Marin: Julian...can you tell me about your father??
.. A strange question... and I did not understand its meaning
But it opened a door full of secrets. It seems that it is difficult for me to hide secrets any longer
It was as if I could not believe that someone had asked me a question like this until I exploded in front of her from the number of complaints and incidents that had occurred
I will throw it at her now. She will regret what she did, I think
... Julian: Well...he's a person
Heartless... long-tongued... hates everyone around him... the last thing he thinks about is his daughter... and I think that is a mistake from him that he left me alive in this world
He hates me... and I hate life... so what is my value here...???
Marin was silent...as if she heard a strange opinion about fathers that she did not expect to hear...and then she said: Is this your father???
Julian: Yes.. Do you want more??
.. Marin: It seems that.. you... do not feel safe... in your father’s arms
Julian: This is true...200% percent What about you ,Marin ??
...And here the silence surrounded the place
I saw nothing but her streaming tears... and in a weak voice she said:
He was the kindest and warmest person in the world.
Our hug after my mother.. and the best refuge in times of sadness.. and a bank of money and gifts in times of joy.. and greater
....a storehouse that contains your secrets and worries.. He is the greatest man I have ever seen in my life
.. I did not speak.. and I kept imagining what a happy life she was living under the care of this man
How I wish my father would be like this...to hold me, even for once
.. I feel like .. I envy that girl for having such a good life
I said very impulsively: If you live with a person like this, what would make you cry???
... She looked at me with a yellowed look, full of blame and astonishment
...Then she said: That was since years..
... Now.. my father is not here
.. I was unable to speak .. and my foolish rush in thinking This poor girl lives without a father??
...I did not think about this matter even once.. What would I do without my father?
...despite my intense hatred for him and for me
.. But I think it is difficult to accept a shock like this.. or live in a house other than the one I am accustomed to
...incomplete individually
...An unjust father... is better than a dead father
Should I be satisfied with my living?? Is my life better than Marin
Factle’s life?? Did I think wrong?? Did
I exaggerate hating him so much?? Should I rejoice in the presence of the Father’s grace before I hate him for his injustice to me???
If I told Marin about my father and his brutality, would she know that her life would be better or what??
..I started to feel troubled in thinking
There are many people suffering other than me, even in different ways
...Marin continued: Living without a father is worse than anything
.. I wish I could see my father even once
This is our first meeting... and in one session... the first secret began to be revealed... despite our lack of prior knowledge.
With each other
Sometimes there comes a time when a person is unable to do anything...and he only needs a companion to stand by him.
.. It makes him feel that he is not alone
He is not required to solve the problem for him, but it is enough for him to listen to him and talk together.
..This is the starting step to finding solutions
..Marin tried to stop talking about this matter
Then she continued her conversation with another question: What about your mother??
...And here is another question that struck me like a thunderbolt
I replied to her: Well, my mother is a strange person, and a bit fickle
Sometimes I find her good, and other times I find her worse than my father personally.
.. Sometimes she side with me.. And sometimes she join my father's side against me
My mother often told me that all the problems people face can be solved
through talk and discussion... especially with...the family, and more precisely the mother
But whenever I try to implement her advice, I hear nothing from her except reprimands, blame, and psychological humiliation that ...
.. I do not bear ..
.. Since then, I decided never to talk to her or take advice from her
And here communication between us was cut off... and the only connection between us was a birth certificate on which it was written that she was my mother only
Marin was astonished... and lowered her face to the ground
.. Then she said: You are poor
...you have been deprived of the sympathy of my parents...and I have been deprived of the parents themselves ...I was astonished by her words, then I said: aaa… Your mother too....????
...Marin: Far from evil!!
...but...there is nothing like my mother's tenderness...and my mother's kindness...and my mother's advice...it's all I have right now.
... But
Fate wanted her to be detained in the hospital...and to undergo heart
surgery
The doctors told me this...and I decided to come here and empty my
thoughts...or throw myself in...I don't know.
...I am waiting for my mother to survive this nightmare Julian: Is she sick??
Marin: She has had heart disease since she was young... but she has faced it several times... and fights it every now and then.
...the battlefield..the intensive care room or the operating room
....but this is the first time that she has been detained in the hospital and had an operation... without my father
That's why I feel in danger... and that I'm not responsible enough... and I'm afraid that I will lose my mother after...
..I became orphan
.. I no longer know .. why these problems fall on the shoulders of young girls like us .. we are still in the prime of life
...We cannot tolerate problems like this
A life with unjust parents...or a life without a father with a sick mother??
..It is a difficult struggle and an even more difficult choice.. Only an experienced person will understand it
Here Marin looked the other way and started thinking
.. Even though julian has parents, she never feels satisfied
... What a strange life... and different destinies
I have always cried when I see children and people with their parents, but this does not mean a happy life with them.
But I think that no matter how difficult their lives are, they will not reach the level of orphanhood
...We both fell silent again
Then Marin asked: What about your siblings? Do you have ?
julian : Yes...but its existence is the same as its non-existence...and
perhaps its non-existence is better Marin: Why?? julian: He is a brother who is 5 years older than me... and he acts as if
he were 20 years older than me.
Either he is responsible for me like someone is responsible for someone
in prison... in his disgusting manner.
Either he is far away from us...and from all the problems of the house...and nothing is known about him at all
He spends his time with his friends and lives the best times of his life.
He lives in a university city and does not know a lot about our current life
While I have no friends... and I cannot escape from the hell of my home... my brother does not support me... nor...
.. Friends of mine.. I am a social failure
Marin: Why did you say that?? You seem like a good friend
Julian: No.. I can never start conversations with people.. I look strange and I cannot form a sentence in front of them
marin understood... and said to herself that her social problems must
stem from her family problems.
.. Without a family, you will not be able to make friends.. And without being equal to yourself, you will not be equal or able to deal with people Then Marin asked: Why problems..??
julian felt disturbed and changed her position
....Then her tears fell, saying: My parents are about to separate...and I
am their victim.
..And here I felt a tingling sensation in my heart.. I told a secret that I never intended to say at all
Was it pressure from Marin...or was I freed from a cage and took my comfort in talking more than necessary??
Should I say??? Why do I feel remorseful and stupid..???
..Marin saw me feeling disturbed.. Then she laughed a desperate laugh
Then she said: I understand what is going on inside you. Do not worry. I
will not tell anyone
...And here I felt somewhat calm.. There are still people who understand others
... Then marin continued: Maybe you hate your brother
...but...I don't have his brother...what a bad feeling ... Julian: Maybe it's .. I don't know.. I haven't tried it But.. Do you have friends??
Marin: Yes.. How can someone not have friends??
.. The words stopped in my mouth.. and I did not say anything
Marin continued: I may not have close friends, but I have many colleagues.
My mother told me that one should have many classmates in all fields.. whether in your school
Or outside it.. or at your age , older or younger
This increases your knowledge of what is around you... and makes you more social... and on top of that... their presence with you .. It helps you in your personal interests
..
I looked back... as if I was amazed at her way of thinking
.. She said simply: The matter is not as you understand
My mother told me a word that I engraved in my head because of my great admiration for it
Your colleagues are for your benefit...but your friends are for your companionship...so maintain the thread of friendship no matter what it is)
(the reason
In other words, you may sell your colleagues for your own sake...and for your own sake
..But do not sell a friend for yourself
The most important thing in your interest is friendship
I understood... I was very impressed with her way of thinking... or more
precisely... her mother’s advice to her.

How I wish my mother would care about me and give me valuable advice like this
Here I asked her a question: What is your mother’s job?
She replied: She is a teacher of literary subjects. She specializes in psychology and sociology. Therefore, she is adept at ...These social tips
Marin was silent for a while. Then she said: What about your parents??
.. Julian: My mother works as a pharmacist.. and my father is an ophthalmologist
...I was stupidly about to ask about her father’s work, but I held my tongue at the last moment
The question came in another form: When did your father die??
Marin was silent... then she almost spoke a lot and spoke profusely
about this matter... with her tears.
...But our conversation was interrupted by a sudden call on her phone
...She soon saw the caller
Marin: Excuse me, Julian. The doctor is calling me. I have to leave quickly.
Julian: What doctor??
.. marin: He is my mother’s doctor.. I have to go to her quickly
.. Nice to meet you. Goodbye
Julian: Wait a minute
.. And it came to my mind that I would like to continue our conversation together.. I feel a wonderful feeling.. I find someone listening to me.
And listen to him.. and we exchange our conversations ... despite the amount of negative energy emitted by it..
And here I said to her in a hurry: Can we exchange our phone numbers.. and continue our conversation later??
Marin: Of course.. I will be pleased with that.. but it will be difficult for me now because of my mother's circumstances.. soon
...Things get better, I'll text you
.. And here we both agreed to complete the conversation... and she left in a hurry
... As for me.. I was on my way home
I don't remember what was on my mind at the time, but I wanted to spend my negative energy on something...so I got up.
...by buying some sweets.. I enjoy eating them