On Thin Ice

18. Backward Spiral

A few days later

Minnow's POV

Floating.

That's what I'm supposed to look like when I move along the ice. I'm supposed to look graceful and effortless.

Instead, my movement was sluggish and my feet felt like they weighed 100 pounds.

"Pick up the pace!" Dickyi yelled from outside the rink. "You need to have enough speed for the axel!"

I was pulling in cold air through my lungs, trying to remember the brief choreography Dickyi had gone over.

Gliding along the ice, my hands were held out at my sides and I trudged my way into an axel position. I held my right arm out in front of me and lifted my left leg back, trying to balance myself out.

And with the muscle memory of writing my own name down, I picked up speed and pulled my arms towards my body as I lifted off the ground, spinning. Once and then twice. The world blurred all around me and I held my breath, hoping to see the ground in time.

The blade of my right skate sliced through the ice as I came barreling back down to the ground. I felt my balance shift and slipped instantly, my knees sliding against the cold floor, my hands trying to slow my body down.

Air rushed out of my lungs and my chest constricted as I tried to catch my breath. "Damn it."

I heard the sound of skates against the ice, getting closer to me.

I wiped the ice off my legs and stood up carefully.

"Are you okay?" Dickyi said, taking my hands in hers. She flipped them over and examined the redness of my light brown inner palms. "You need to start wearing your gloves."

I felt my face growing hot with exhaustion as I stared at her. There was a pinch in her brow and she blew out a tiny breath.

"Just say it," I pressed, my voice thin. "We both know it's true."

She swallowed and pushed her dark wavy hair over her shoulder, her many hand tattoos covered by the red gloves she wore.

"I'm weak," I admitted. "A beginner skater could do a double axel easily. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing," She dropped my hands and stared into my eyes. "You're not weak. You're just--tired. Like I can see it with the way you move. It's like you're trying to catch your breath and on top of that complete a trick. Why are you so tired?"

My hands formed into tight fists at my sides. "I-I...um...I don't know." I blew out a breath. "My last coach made me switch to eating like a vegetarian because she said that I was gaining too much weight and that Brodie couldn't lift me." Brodie also agreed, encouraging me to lose weight too.

And what started as 3 pounds had eventually led to nearly 20 pounds shed. I was nearly skin and bones.

"Jeez," She frowned and hissed in a breath. "Don't listen to whatever the fuck Brodie and your last coach okay? As your new coach, I'm telling you, you need to bulk up. You can't run off of no energy. We've got 2 routines to get through for the first competition in July. I need you healthy. Is that the only thing?"

Dickyi was direct and she didn't baby me and given the way Soren was walking on eggshells around me, I needed it. Last night had freaked him out and if I knew him well enough, he wasn't going to stop until he got answers.

I was still worried about myself. I had somehow conjured up an image of Brodie on the front porch. That was twice now.

"I'm not sleeping well."