His to fix

CHAPTER 11

MBALENHLE NKOSAZANA

I woke up to a pounding headache and a strong urge to hurl out my insides. After God , fear alcohol. I quickly ran to the bathroom and vomited my lungs out repeatedly and in that moment I was sure that I was really dying . After laying on the cold bathroom tiles for a while , I finally gathered   the strength to take a shower.

I took the longest shower and in that moment I took a self introspection. I thought about my addiction of weed , the depression I had that was caused by my mom abandoning us , school and my current situation,  Qhawe.

Its shocking how quick you can fall in love with someone. After seeing Qhawe with that hun that looked so gorgeous , I couldn't help but feel like he only wanted to smash and pass. I know I have a nice body but that woman , she looked like she got her shit together , I mean she was pretty,  around Qhawe's age , driving a Jeep wrangler and a body to die for , she looked so sophisticated , something that I'm not yet Qhawe is still interested in me? Njani bruh? [How bruh?]

After my shower,  I dried myself with one of Qhawe's towels and lotioned myself with his manly lotion . Umuntu uzobe enuka indoda the whole day. [ I'll be smelling like a man ths whole day]
I wore the clothes that I was wearing yesterday and made the bed.

I tried cleaning the room , emphasis on tried because I had a mother of hangovers and a splitting headache. I also found his little note and drank the   concoction he had left on the dresser.

I then proceeded to make breakfast which consisted of cornflakes and bananas. I swear you can never go wrong with that combo.

I took my phone form the kitchen counter and was I not bored with the flooding texts that my parents were bombarding me with? Hayi ke bhod ke sana .  Thobekile even went to the lengths of saying that she'll report me missing. Idrama yalomama is on steroids I swear. [ This woman's drama is on steroids I swear.]

As for my dad , he just sent me a text begging me to come home , as if he wouldn't panel beat me with his sjambok. I guess the only people who had my back were Lesego and my twin cause Lesego had her older sister Khanyi , text my parents and tell them that I'm with them and my twin was letting me on the info that they were tryna track me.

Fuck , yati umndeni [you know family] will test your inner darkness. I quickly thanked them for the heads up and switch off my phone to make my parents lose my location.

After eating my cereal , I cleaned around Qhawe's crib , it was the least I could do to repay him for letting me crash in for the night . I quickly got carried away and started cooking .

'Its giving wife material '.  I ignored the little voice in my head and made him beef stew , creamy spinach and Pap. After cooking I immediately dished up in containers and washed the pots I had used.

I then looked for a pen and a paper and poured out my heart to him , I told him about myself and everything in between.  After thinking hard about everything , I had come to notice that I loved Qhawe but I first needed to deal with my issues. I was just carrying too much and pursing a relationship while still not in their right emotional and mental state of wellbeing,  our love was going to be something toxic that would have destroyed both of us.

I loved him but sometimes love alone is not enough.

I loved him enough to let him go because he deserved better , someone who was going to nurture their love and give themselves fully and I wasn't that someone. It is a hard pill to swallow but prolonging saying it would have hurt more so I might as well say it as it is .

I then went to catch a nap on his bean bag and when I was drifting on to lala land , cold water was splashed on my face and boy oh boy , did I not have a rude awakening.