Persephone Miller's never had a chance to fall in love, unlike the rest of her lovesick college friends. After recently starting a new job as the PR manager for the Boston Bruins, she finally feels like she's settling into adulthood. Although, with...
I try and force my muscles to relax under the warm steam of the shower. My whole body is tension; my thoughts, my mind, everything. I haven't been able to shake this feeling, the feeling that something still isn't right, since Persephone told me about her secret. In the days that have passed since then, I've tried everything to comfort her, but nothing seems to help. Over the weekend, we hung around at her place, and every time I looked across at her, she was staring out at nothing, a look of emptiness in her eyes.
I'm planning to get to training a little early today, so I can just accidentally run into Persephone as she's leaving work. I tried to get her to take a couple of days off of work, to relax for a while and be with her friends, but she only smiled and said she needed her life to feel normal.
I was shocked when she told me she could never have kids. I think it was because she's always so comfortable with Olly, and now Laurie, that I never expected it.
But my own shock aside, all I've wanted is to make sure that she's okay. I didn't want Persephone to feel like she couldn't talk to me, I didn't want her to be scared of any potential reaction I could give her. Because what I said the other day is completely true, possibly the truest thing I've said in my entire life. It's not like the prospect of children is more important than having her in my life, I can't even begin to understand why people would think that. There's nothing I want more in this world than to call Persephone mine, to have the privilege of her company until I die. Nothing could ever make me want to change my mind.
Her mom is another problem. I understand slightly more now why she was so horrible to our relationship; because she was always drip feeding Persephone this distorted reality about how her body, and her body's ability to bear children would overpower her worth as an individual in a relationship. After hearing Persephone repeat her mom's words, I've had to stop my hands from forming fists.
Reluctantly, I turn the water off from the shower, taking a second to breathe as I dry off. I get dressed quickly, putting on my clothes for training and beginning to pack my bag. As I shove shoes onto my feet I look down at my phone, unsurprised to see a text from Fitz. Seriously, if that guy's head wasn't screwed on, he'd find a way to lose it. But it's his tone that worries me. He's sent me a link to a news article that's only recently been published. I click on it, preparing to read something random about my supposed work ethic or team focus or some other bullshit. The media just loves to chew people apart and it's nothing I haven't seen-
I feel my phone slipping from my grasp. I let it fall. I let everything fall as I race to the front door, grab my keys, and run as fast as I can to my car.
Persephone
With a deep sigh, I press the lid of my laptop closed, letting my shoulders sag slightly. I roll my neck backwards, letting my heavy eyes fall shut.
I haven't felt better since we were at the hospital, and I spilled my guts to Max. It's not him, he's been nothing but supportive and more helpful than I ever could have imagined. But now, it's almost as if because I've said it out loud, because I've said I can't have kids, it's... real. I can't take it back, can't keep believing. That last shred of stupid hope I had is gone. I feel empty, I feel like I left a small part of myself in that hospital waiting room, and I'd do anything to get it back.
I focus back on packing my bag, ready to go home and have a warm bath and wait for the aching in my chest to leave. I don't even want to think about how much this is affecting Max. I feel like all I ever do is let him down, force him to carry these weights that I have attached to my shoulders. It's why I was so scared that he would leave me after I told him my story the other night; I still don't really understand why he bothers to put up with all of this stuff. It would be so much easier for him to just walk away, continue living his life. I do believe him when he says he wants to be with me for me. But my mind keeps orchestrating these doubts, these overwhelming doubts that I can't seem to get rid of.
Taking another deep breath, I pick up my bag and cross to the door of my office, pushing it open. I enter the chilly corridor, pulling my coat closer to my body. There's barely anyone else around, since the team's training doesn't start for another half hour or so. My footsteps echo as I round the corner of the building, suddenly desperate as I reach the front doors. I push them open, although I'm hit with a shock at what sits in front of me outside.
There's cameras flashing in every direction, blinding me. I hold a hand up to my eyes, trying to figure out what's going on. Why are people taking photos of me?
There has to be at least a dozen different magazine company logos, mostly gossip magazines, surrounding me, shouting questions with their camera's ready. What the fuck is going on?
Feeling my breathing become short, I begin walking to my car, my head down. I have no idea what these people are doing, why they're following me, but I just want to get out of here. As I walk, they seem to follow me, sticking uncomfortably close to my side. The noise clouds over me, and I can't even make out what the reporters questions are. It's only when I hear my name being called that I lift my eyes, a pang hitting my chest. Max is pushing his way through the sea of reporters, his eyes wide with... fear?
In a moment he's beside me, holding me at my shoulders. My mouth falls open a little, shaking my head with confusion.
"What's going on? What's happening?"
"I'll tell you in the car, we just need to go." He attempts to pull me in the direction of the carpark, but I don't let him. What does he know?
It's only then, as I stand quietly that I finally hear what's being yelled around me.
"Would you like to be on our morning show to talk about your struggles with infertility?"
"Persephone, what is your response to these claims that you can't have children?"
"Persephone, are you pregnant with Max's child?"
"Morin, what's your response to these claims?"
I feel like I've been shot. Shock rushes through my body violently. I don't know what to say, don't know who to look at. The secret that I tried to keep buried for so much of my life has just become a publicity stunt.
"Persephone," The sound of Max's soft voice causes me to snap back into focus. But the feeling of dizziness stays. "I didn't know, I'm so sorry. Fitz sent me an article link and I came straight here. I tried calling you, but you never picked up." I can't even nod. I can't do anything but just stand here, frozen, and listen to all of these questions. I can hear Max yelling at the reporters and feel my body being moved slightly, but I don't compete any of it. I let him guide me to his car. I can't speak, can't even think about moving by myself. I flop down into the passenger seat of Max's car, trying to remember to breathe as Max reverses out of the parking lot. And it's only then, on the open road, that my body breaks, and I let myself cry.
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A/n:
heelo
sorry this chapter was kind of a random filler. i had to write this part to then get to the juicy part in the next chapter (which i'm actually so excited to write because it's going to be dramatic (hopefully))
hope you enjoyed? idk this was rando as but anyways
