𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐑𝐊//𝐁.𝐄

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘

Dual povs

Today I woke up with 'Holly Jolly Christmas' blasting from the living room which gave me a horrible headache. Of course Gracie was getting things ready for my family when they arrive but she doesn't have to blast muisc at twelve in the afternoon, it's still early

I sighed and stood up very lazily. Today is the day I am seeing my fam again, I missed them so much and I can't wait to see them, especially Fin who is gonna propose to Clau tonight and I am so excited for them

Me and Finch talked a lot about this and he wanted to do it at the countdown for new year's day but he knew he couldn't wait no more so we planned it for today. He hired some dudes to place around the tallest building here a lot of red roses and they will have a cute romantic dinner and and all

He also wanted to do it on their anniversary but Claudia got very, very sick and they had to go to the hospital so he'll do it tonight and as far as I know she has no clue. I love Claudia, she's like the sister I never had 'cause I can talk to her so freely and I feel like she won't ever judge me even if we both know I make some very dumb mistakes. . .like thinking Jesse actually liked me

I felt hot fresh tears on cheeks and groaned whiping them. God I'm such a baby. My eyes rolled back and I cursed under my breath and after that my head started moving in many ways and I sighed going toward my nightstand and opened the drwer to get one of my essential oils

I smelled the beautiful smell and tried calming down. I hate, hate, hate having Tourettes, this is one of the things I am most insecure about myself

I got diagnosed with it at the age of eleven and neither my parents nor me knew what the fuck meant to have Tourettes so the doctor explained to us and my dad got so angry that he broke the door of my room and everytime I ticked he would tell me that 'it's my fault for having it' or that 'I should be ashamed of myself because of me our neighbors found out and now we are getting glares or disgusted faces'

Or when I was in middle-school we had a school shooting, I know, America, and of course I panicked and my tics started going insane and since Gracie wasn't there with me I had no one to calm me down. The kids started making fun of me after everything calmed down and whenever I would tic they would film me or say that 'I'm faking it to get attention', no teacher ever stopped them and I got bullied very badly for it

I guess Gracie always felt guilty and protective over me when I had these tics because she wasn't there when it all started but I assured her that I am fine and I got over it. No one besides Gracie knows about the bulling or why I have night terrors, well Finneas does too but not Maggie, Patrick or Claudia

I mean they asked me about it but understood that I don't really like talking about it. I sighed and turned off the water, oh yeah, I went to shower while thinking. I changed in some black clothes because I am gonna go visit my mom's grave, waste some time plus I feel bad, she would've been a great mom if dad would've left us

She had her moments when she cared and I always loved her more but I knew that once dad was home she was under his evil spell again and I was abused once again. I miss her, sure and that's no secret. When I was five I remeber my dad had a business trip he had to attend and it was just me and my mom, I told this story at her funeral

~ Flashback To The Funeral Last Year(Billie has green roots here) ~

She was there, purple-ish skin and blue lips, skinny face, dressed in a navy blue dress, her favourite color, her eyes closed and no move coming out from her body

She is gone, actually gone.

I sighed and closed the see-through case and went downstairs to see how is everything going. Mr and Mrs Abrams helped me with money to plan the funeral