Black & White

Chapter twenty four

I'm searching for her everywhere, walking and paying attention to everyone's face. I see a girl with mid long blond hair, but when she turns her head I see that her eyes are light blue. It's not her.

I'm trying to look around her favourite places, like Lululemon, Garage, Aritzia... I still don't see her.

I'm feeling discouraged, honestly, but I know she's still in here. I hope she'll be happy seeing what I'm holding in my hands, even if she's hard to satisfy sometimes.

Fifteen minutes later, I spot her sitting on one of the colourful benches of Qwelli. I should have thought of that place, she loves gelato more than anything.

It's easy to recognize her with her always tied up hair and silver jewelry. I never saw her not wearing them once. I am almost running to win her heart again, but...

She's with my friend, Marco. They are making out, in front of me.

"It's not what you think!" Vicky was jumping when she saw me in front of her.

I feel so hurt, that it's as if my heart is being ripped, burnt, tortured, and beat inside of me. I am feeling so hurt that it's as if the world is ending for me. There is nothing that could exactly explain how hurt I'm feeling.

"Let's just tell him the truth, Vicky."

I'm still standing in front of them two, holding the flowers with my right hand and the chocolates in the other hand.

"What truth?" I say, still not wanting to believe what im looking at.

"Well, Vicky texted me yesterday-"

I don't want to hear any of his explanations, actually. The only reason why he is doing this is because he is a betrayer, disgusting and backstabbing friend.

"Go fuck yourself, Marc Antoine. You were one of my closest friend, and now I'm just realizing that you are a cheater for your own girlfriend and you are a disgusting human being. Couldn't you see that I loved her?"

"Alexei..." he tries to calm me down.

"Oh no, shut up!", I am throwing the flowers at him and slapping his face with the box of withe chocolates, so strong that his cheek is now red.

I leave them both, throwing a last glance at Vicky.I now hate her, but still am in love with her.

The mall is now a place that I won't ever put my feet in anymore, so I'm reaching the exit, tears wetting my eyes so bad that my vision is now blurry.

I'm starting to cry, screaming of pain leaning against the mall, where it's silent, calm and no one is staying there. I'm feeling so weak, I hate this.

I think I never cried that much in my entire teenage years, because I normally am never crying. I struggle breathing, and I think I could fill more than one glass with my tears. My crying is so ugly, and my screams sounds intense. It's embarrassing. So embarrassing. All of this because of this girl. This girl I thought could permit me having a slight hope in this world, that I was struggling finding bright colours in.

Why would she do that...? I know I have not been good enough for her, I might not have deserved her, but I was ready to sacrifice everything.

"Alexei?" A gang of boys are walking past me. They probably recognized me, even behind my probably red eyes and swollen face.

I am avoiding them, now walking to the other side of the streets.

"Hey hey hey... What is going on?" A boy is reaching my shoulder with his hand.

"Nothing!" I turn to see his face. He's a friend of mine, Mathias,with our friend group behind that I've been losing contacts with. I'm feeling so ashamed to look like this in front of him.

"Why are you crying?" He asks me, with the rest of the guys intrigued by my face.

"It's nothing. I'll go home now."

"Not so fast..." He insists. "The boys are coming over to my house tonight, and since you are in such a state, I am thinking you could stay with us. It will make you feel better, trust me."

"No, I'm okay. I need space right now."

"Just come with us", the boys are smiling at me, maybe to maintain our friendship.

I still have so many tears left, but I don't want to start crying again in front of them, it'll make me look vulnerable. I want to go home, but they don't let me.

"Fine, I'll go with you guys."