Delta [Epsilon #2]

Chapter Fifty-Nine

I would have thought it as mere decoration were it not for the sheer level of detail given to the painting. And the fact that Faelen had the picture of a woman I'd never seen before made me burn with curiosity.

Unable to help myself, I pointed at it. "Who's that?"

Faelen looked to me with wide eyes, his hand scrunched around a white shirt he'd just grabbed from the drawer. Following the direction of my finger, he slowly turned around, stiffening once he saw what I was pointing at.

"She's..." he paused. Several seconds of silence passed, and I could feel my heart sinking... but with what? Jealousy? Disappointment? Despair? None of them made sense.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me--"

"No, no. It's okay. I have her up there for a reason." His eyes met mine, and I could see the echo of pain beneath them. "She's..." he sighed. I could have almost sworn his face scrunched with guilt. "She's an old friend of mine. One that I miss dearly."

"Oh," was my quiet response. Suddenly, I feel like an ass for probing. "I... I'm sorry for your loss. Are you-?"

"No, I'm fine now. She passed a while ago. There's a real downside to living a long life, you know."

"Because you have to watch those around you grow old?" I asked. Faelen nodded meekly, and a heavy sadness crushed my chest. Sadness and guilt. Part of me had secretly envied him for being a Delta -- for being semi-immortal and living thousands of years, unlike the normal werewolves. But now, seeing him grieve over his long-dead friend, someone who had likely lived decades if not centuries ago... I mourned for him. 

"She's there as a reminder for me not to take anyone I know for granted," Faelen continued. "Because they're gone in a flash. They always are."

"I'll be around for a long while," I whispered. "You'll have me."

He seemed to perk up at that. "Yes, I know. I'm grateful."

I nodded as the room plunged into a thick silence. I knew that Epsilons could live upwards of seven hundred years, unlike the usual three hundred for most other werewolves. But that still didn't measure up to a Delta's lifespan. Maybe I was destined to be another picture on his wall. I shuddered at the thought.

Heaving a tired sigh that told years of sorrow, Faelen grappled with his shirt and began pulling it over his head. There was another elephant in the room -- something more pressing than a woman in a portrait.

"Faelen?"

"Hmm?" he said, pulling the white shirt down to his navel. I tried not to ogle at his abs and failed miserably. 

I looked away. "The mate thing. I know you rejected it from your end, but is it still possible to...?"

Faelen stilled in my peripheral. I looked up to find his lips pulled back in a grimace, and when his gaze met mine, I found his eyes shining with regret.

"You have no idea how much I regret that, Kyra." He paused, seeming at odd with himself. "No... it can't be done -- not right now at least. A two-way mate bond is required for a Claiming to work. If not, then I'll just be placing a false bond and you and, well, we've seen how well that goes..."

I nodded at that, failing to hide the disappointment in my face. "But... in the future?"

Faelen nodded earnestly. "Yes. Because the tie isn't fully severed, there's a high chance that my end of the connection will eventually repair and snap back into place. It's just a matter of when."

"And then you can mate me?"

"And then I can mate you."

I nodded at that. I was careful to use the word 'can' instead of 'will', because while hope danced in my heart, uncertainty still lingered in the back of my mind.

Stop acting so besotted, Kyra. One night in bed with this man and you already want to leap into a commitment. Get a grip.

I cleared my throat and pushed the thoughts out of my head, focusing on more diplomatic matters. "And say the mate bond snaps back into place and you do mate me... will it erase the false bond between me and Azriel?"

Faelen sucked in a breath at that. "I'm not actually sure, Kyra. I've never heard of someone replacing a false bond with a real mate bond. I've only heard of stories where enraged mates go into a frenzy and kill the person who placed the false bond on their spouse, so that the false bond is eradicated that way. I don't think anyone's tried putting a mate bond on while a false bond exists..."

"So, you're saying there's a risk?"

Faelen nodded, avoiding my gaze. "There is, but we can only cross that bridge when the mate bond between us is restored."

"And what if you placed your own false bond on me right now?" I asked, my heart racing. "Would that be enough to override Azriel's?"

Faelen's eyes snapped to mine, his gaze hardening like glaciers. "I'm not doing that, Kyra. No way. I know one person who tried that in the past, but it didn't end well. They went mad by sundown and killed themselves by midnight. We simply aren't made to hold so many unstable bonds at once..."

"But maybe it will work for me--"

"No," he snapped. "Replacing a false bond with a mate bond is one thing -- maybe it could work. But a false bond with another false bond? Kyra... it's insanity. The risks are too high. And it's disgusting, Kyra. The whole premise of the false bond is disgusting. I should not have that level of power over you, let alone anyone. That is an insult to your dignity."

My eyes stung -- partly because of his words, but also because his speech served as a reminder of how predatory Azriel was. Faelen was a good man. I knew that. But Azriel... how could he have done that to someone so impressionable and afraid? A girl who was barely eighteen? I clung to him because he was all I had, and he exploited me for it. 

"But... but I trust you not to do anything wrong..."

"No, Kyra, and that's final," he said, his tone leaving no room for negotiation. "We'll find another way to get rid of Azriel's bond -- a safe way. I'm not risking you getting hurt, and I'm certainly not going to commit such a heinous act against you."

I nodded, staring into my lap as my vision blurred. Part of me had hoped for an easy way out of Azriel's will-binding bond, but I supposed if there were one, I would have found it by now.

Faelen's eyes softened. "Hey, wait," he said, and he was at my side in an instant. Sitting down beside me, he wrapped one hand around my shoulders and used the other to tilt my face up towards him. Something close to anguish passed over his features when he spied the distraught on my face. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to upset you. I know this means a lot to you and you want nothing more than for that bond to be gone. Trust me, I know. I want the same."

He sucked in a breath. 

"If I could, I would make it all right. I want nothing more than to take your pain away; than to eradicate that slimy bastard from the face of this planet. But rushing into battle has never done anyone any good. If we want to win, we need to be patient -- be calculated. When the time is right, Azriel will die, and the bond will rot with him in hell. I promise."

I nodded, willing the tears back into my eyes before they could fall. He was right, I knew. Placing another bond on me was too dangerous. We had to find another way to get rid of Azriel's bond -- and that meant killing him.

Seeing the change on my face, Faelen grinned. "That's my girl," he praised, patting me on the back. "Tell you what -- training can wait until this afternoon. I'll make us some breakfast so that we can eat in bed. Now how does that sound?"

My grin was so large I think it would have rivalled the sun in its brightness. Faelen chuckled, placed a large kiss on my forehead, before standing up and making his way out the bedroom door. I listened to him preparing breakfast in the kitchen, and I felt strangely confident for the trials that lay ahead.

Yes, this war would be hard fought; and yes, Azriel was not going to go down so easily. But I had Faelen by my side, and with him, anything felt possible.