Not His Love

chapter 26

They turned to leave from there. And when Ridhima noticed this, she hide herself behind the large pole. Vansh walked passed Ridhima but he felt something.

He took a look back, but didn't see anything except the strangers there.

"What happened Vansh?" Lily asked as he halted his steps.

"huh...nothing." He answered while still looking around.

"Then let's go."

Vansh hummed and disheartedly went with her.

Ridhima saw them leaving together. She bite her lips to stops herself from crying in public and blinked her eyes. She thought to herself for few minutes she wanted to follow them, but it would be no use,they are certainly leaving now. They have been together in a restaurant, this single thought was now roaming in her head. So at last she decided to follow them.

Vansh and Lily reached the parking space. There were just cars parked here and there, rarely any human. They reached near their car, Ridhima also followedbthem all the way.

Realizing it was no point she turned to return but halted hersteps when she hear something. She hid behind a car. The car was quite big, soshe managed.

"Vansh? Were are you lost?" Lily asked Vansh, observing that he is lost in his ownworld
Vansh sighed, "nothing.... I thought...I ....think I saw Ridhima in the restaurant lobby."

Vansh looked at Lily and could see she was hurt. But why? And this was the last string and she burst out.

"Oh please, Vansh. Get over her now. You are getting divorce. Can't you see she doesn't care? If she did she would have at least contacted you in these days."

"Don't say like that. Maybe she .. Vansh said in low voice but got cut off.

"Oh come on Vansh, since when did you become like this. Ridhima .....Ridhima.... it is always Ridhima. Ridhima here... ridhima there. She is gone." " She couldn't control her tears which were falling from her eyes.

"Can't....can't you see my lo..love? Can't you see I love you?"

Vansh was shocked at her break down. He looked at her, she was sobbing.  He looked at her, she was sobbing. "But Lily.....I already told you, I don't feel the same way.... and more importantly, I am married."

"Why....why don't you just love me for once. Since we were kids, I had loved you even when I couldn't even spell love. I did everything just to be close to you.... yes Vansh you wanna know something.... I was the one to disclose your divorce.... I kept that in uncle's other documents."

She was rambling that she couldn't even hold on anything. Vansh looked bewildered.

"You did that?" how? When? that wasn't important to ask now.

"Yes..yes ...yes I did that. Because I love you. I love you so much. Why don't you just accept me?" she cried out. "What does she have that I don't have?" She mumble.

Vansh bite his lips. He felt sad for his friend. She was not in her right mind right now so it was not a good time to confront about her wrong deed. He can deal with that later. He did felt angry at her aggressive confession but first he want to calm her. He cupped her face softly making her face him.

"You are enough in yourself, Lily. There is nothing you miss. You are great in yourself. You were my only friend since we were kids. I was never close to any other girl in school or college as to you, I would never even talk to any other girl. And you know how much I care for you. It is just I don't feel for you that way. No matter what I can't feel that way towards you. And I can't force myself. Please don't compare yourself to her. I just love her and that is how I feel. And we have already talked about this right? Please don't feel that you are less or anything. Hmm?"

Vansh's words seemed to have a soothing effect on Lily. Her sobs gradually subsided, and she looked into his eyes, her tear-streaked face a mix of emotions – hurt, longing, and a glimmer of understanding.

"I... I know, Vansh. It's just... it's so hard." Lily whispers.

"I understand, Lily. I truly do. But I can't change how I feel. I value our friendship immensely, and I don't want that to change." Vansh said softly.

Lily nodded, her gaze dropping to the ground as she wiped her tears away. Vansh kept his hand on her cheek for a moment longer before gently lowering it.

"Come on, let's sit down for a moment."

They sat inside their car for a few moments, just sat there. Lily took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure. Vansh sat beside her.

"I'm sorry, Vansh. I never wanted things to get so complicated."

"Lily, I won't lie saying that it's ok or not a big deal (deep sigh) because it is a big deal. What you did is wrong and I am disappointed. I trusted you, I feel betrayed."

"I am sorry....so..sorry for everything."

"And I care about you , Lily. We've been through so much together, and I don't want that to change."

Vansh knew that Lily's admission about her role in disclosing his divorce needed to be addressed, but he also understood that this wasn't the right time for it.

"Lily, about what you said earlier... we'll talk about that later, okay?"

She nodded,"I understand. I'm sorry for everything."

Vansh didn't reply. He was hurt, he felt betrayed. If that didn't had gone disclosed, may be thing could have been a little better if not entirely good, because they had to separate either way. Just that way his family would have not lost their trust on him and Ridhima.

After calming themselves Vansh started the car.

"Thank you for listening, Vansh. And for still being my friend."

Vansh just smiled to her.

On the other hand Ridhima's mind raced as she battled her own thoughts and emotions. She berated herself for not reaching out to Vansh during their time apart, for not fighting harder for their relationship. The sight of Lily's emotional breakdown had struck a chord within her, making her question her decisions even more.

(Whispering to herself) "Why didn't I try harder? Why did I let things come to this?

***

Ridhima reached her apartment. She came inside and realized Sejal was also there. She dropped herself on the couch. Sejal came out of the bedroom.

"Hey how did the interview go?" She asked with a cheerful voice.

"It went well." Ridhima answered in an emotion less voice.

"What happened?" Sejal sat near her.

Ridhima couldn't hold her outburst, "I...I..I love him. I love Vansh."