Greys IV - Chains

Epilogue /// Chapter 51

Well I know what your want from me.
You want someone to be your reflection, your bitter deception, setting you free.
So you take what you want, and leave.

///

And I know what you want from me. You want the same as me. My redemption, eternal ascension, setting me free.
So I'll take what I want, and leave.

Ascensionism - Sleep Token

The sun was just beginning to lighten the sky outside my window, a little curve of it visible from my bed. And though my body was sore, my mind weary and my limbs heavy, every inch of me was wholly satisfied. It certainly hadn't been sweet or gentle, but it wasn't like the past either. There wasn't the same bloodlust, or frenzy, not even a loss of control, not really. And I knew why. Even with the fog in my mind slowly dissipating, pulling apart like sun breaking through clouds, burning them away, I knew what this was.

It was passion and desire, instincts and an inescapable draw, nature - both human and something more, or less - our power, our past and present, the future we were both trying to orchestrate. This was so much more than it had ever been before, something deep and raw and desperate.

But just as much as I knew what it was...I knew what it wasn't, and it wasn't love.

I laid my head on his chest, telling myself it could become more, that I could make it grow, that I could fix him, this, us. It was the mantra in my mind, steeling me, filling my thoughts with the words until there was no room for anything else, any doubts.

I can fix this. I will love him. It will save him.

He gave a content purr under me, a rumble that made me relax into him automatically, nuzzling against the uneven skin of his scars. His animal sounds didn't bother me anymore, his nature didn't, his darkness. It was mine too, after all. And somehow I accepted that now too, every part of him, of myself - even the parts I shouldn't. I accepted it all and that was the highest I had felt in a long time. In small measures, I felt peace and hope that I hadn't before - there was still fear, poisoned 'what ifs' trying to pile up at the edges of my mind, but I was sure that this was right. I was right.

I would have him back, a second chance. And I believed that meant we were following the prophecy, following our path to its end, to the end of Baraqiel, to killing him and finally righting all his wrongs. A part of me believed, really believed, that there was an end to this, that we were so close. I could almost see the other side. And that is what I focused on - what was to come.

Sleep tugged at my eyes, letting me drift into a soft, quiet place. I felt a vibration in my chest, like the trill of excitement but lower, deeper, more satisfaction than excitement, and I let it out. I purred, and it felt so good, just like James' smooth hands in my hair, his warm kisses on my neck, fingers that fit just right interlocked with mine.

"I feel like I'm getting you back. My James. I love you."

I murmured the words at the cusp of sleep, of peace, warm against him, ready for whatever was to come as I drifted deeper and deeper into an exhausted, sated slumber.

A cold laugh jolted me awake as ice washed away my calm. I opened my eyes to see James watching me with his father's face, his smile coldblooded.

"I'm not your James."

I gasped as I felt a sharp pain in my back, a burning like a line of fire that slowly changed to ice. I looked down to see the crimson tip of one of my daggers, the ones I always kept on my bedside table, just barely poking from the center of my chest. I could smell the blood, feel it running down me, pooling beneath me, covering James. I looked back into his eyes, into the midnight blue I had said I wanted to be the last thing I ever saw all those months ago in the forest. And I still couldn't think of a more beautiful last sight.

I watched him as I felt my heart labor slower, weaker. As I felt cold spreading not just down from my neck, but out from my chest. The pain was far away now, growing more distant, chasing me but too slow. James was further too, our connection strained, less and less, stretching until it snapped.

Then there was nothing at all as darkness swallowed me whole.

Yupp. He killed her.
Yupp. Malachi knew.
Yupp. There will be hell to pay next book.

But if you think you know what will happen next, remember how I detest predictability...

Will Jordan come back evil?
Will this be the final push James needs to become un-evil?
Will Ailech's patience for Malachi and his betrayals finally run out?
And where the hell is Abby, anyway?

I guess I'll tell you....in the next (& final) book. I have a vacation in two weeks, and I plan on getting a few chapters done during it.

Wish me luck, or yourselves, yeah, probably save the luck for yourselves.

T