I Want To Hate You, But You Don't Make It Easy

Waiting On The Sun

Synopsis: Sougo approaches Geiz in his room one night and reveals that he's seen something Geiz had never wanted him to see

TW// references to self-harm, suicidal ideation

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"Geiz?"

"What do you want?"

It was the evening. Geiz had gone to his room. He didn't have any reason to hang out downstairs with the others. He liked being alone.

Unfortunately, someone seemed to have followed him. Sougo. Geiz had no desire to talk to him right now. What didn't he get about them not being friends? He could try as hard as he wanted, but it was never happening.

"I... I'm sure this is definitely overstepping my boundaries." Sougo started off with. Geiz immediately went on the defensive. If even Sougo acknowledged that this was something like that, this conversation couldn't be good.

"But... I uh... I saw... your arm. And I... uh, just..." Sougo was fumbling over his words. "Are you okay?"

Geiz was consumed by panic the moment those words left Sougo's mouth. That was the last he ever needed someone like this to find out. Could he somehow deny it? But, if he did, wouldn't Sougo just demand to see his arm as proof nothing was there?

"It's none of your business. Get lost." Geiz opted to try and simply kick him out.

He got off his bed and started shoving Sougo out the door. But somehow Sougo managed to get out of his grip and dart into the room. He wasn't leaving that easily.

"Zi-O, get out of my room." Geiz repeated firmly.

"Not until you answer me." Sougo replied.

"I answered you already! It's none of your business!" Geiz stormed over to where Sougo was standing and grabbed him by his shirt.

"I just asked if you were okay. Can't you answer that for me?" Sougo, somehow, was keeping a calm demeanor despite Geiz's aggression toward him right now.

"My answer is it's none of your business." Geiz repeated.

"Then I'll take that to mean no."

Geiz was caught off guard by that answer. That wasn't what was supposed to happen! Sougo was meant to just finally drop it and leave. Not start making guesses about what he actually would answer if he liked Sougo.

Sougo took the opportunity to get out of Geiz's grip. He sat himself down on the bed. Geiz took in a few deep breaths. He didn't know what to do now. He was completely thrown off by Sougo again. How did this boy keep getting under his skin so much?

"It's a king's job to make sure his subjects are okay." Sougo said.

Geiz wanted to snap back at him, but found no words wanting to come out. He settled to just glare instead. He was not his king no matter what he said. Geiz would never follow him. Especially when the future was still going to be the same. He wasn't about to become part of this like that.

"And yet it's you who caused this." Geiz found his voice.

"I... caused that?" Sougo repeated.

"How do you think I felt losing so many people close to me because of Oma Zi-O?! No matter what we did, you always won! Do you know how fucking hopeless I felt every time I had to return to town with less and less members of our army?!" Geiz snapped.

Sougo was silent. He seemed to be taking in what Geiz was saying. There was some sorrow filling his eyes. Geiz didn't want his pity.

"Do you know how many times I wished it was me who didn't come back instead of someone else?" Geiz's voice cracked as he continued. "How many times I wished that this nightmare would just end? If I hadn't been given this opportunity to come here and change the future..."