Discordant Note | TBATE

Chapter 33: Reasons

In my previous life, I knew where the people who enabled such things peddled their wares or wrote false prescriptions. But in that life, I didn't have the power to burn a warehouse to the ground or bring such false men to justice. I couldn't send their supplies to the sky in an explosion of mana and energy. But in Alacrya? I could make that warehouse burn.

Lady Dawn had intervened, citing the risks of such an act. There were people inside, who might be blind to what was being sold. Burning the warehouse could spread fire to the surrounding buildings, causing it to break out of control and cause far more harm and damage than I wanted. And if I wanted to destroy the Joans, I needed to do it methodically, not in a fit of emotional rage.

"I'd like to hear what you have to say," I said at last, reaching my room. The Cistern didn't have a particularly tall ceiling, so I always felt like the rooms were looming down on me. With the narrowed vision and dampened colors of the Unseen layering over it all, that feeling was multiplied.

"This Rat," Lady Dawn said, gliding alongside me as I moved, her phantom form glowing slightly, "Cannot be trusted wholeheartedly. He is a man who keeps his thoughts close to his chest, unwilling to share them with those he needs to. I doubt he will guide to you your goal straightforwardly, if at all."

I contemplated Lady Dawn's words for a moment. "But he does have a grudge against Blood Joan," I replied, feeling conflicted. "I could feel that much. The same as you did when you decided to trust me." I paused. "We have the same goal, don't we? Why would he try and lead me astray?"

"The destination of your journeys may very well be the same spot," Lady Dawn replied as we walked into my room, "But the paths you tread are different. And to take the next step on his road, obstacles can easily be shifted to yours. That does not mean to abandon trust completely, merely be conscious of this man's nature." Lady Dawn looked contemplative. "An alternative may be to grow closer with your other teammates, but maintain a distance with their leader."

"You make a good point about Karsien," I acknowledged, "But what would distancing myself from him like that do to help me along?"

"The man desires to control," Lady Dawn replied. "It is his crutch and his drug. He shows it in the very nature of showmanship, in how he wishes to influence others around him and maintain information. Show him that some of that control may be slipping; that his unwillingness to trust has caused him ill rather than gain. Not too much, however, else he may try to assert his control with an iron grip."

I sighed as I fell down onto my bed. "It doesn't make sense," I mused, thinking back to the night before when Karsien had shown me the good he had done. The intensity in his eyes as he watched Greahd distribute the food felt just as real as the anger I saw today. "Does he want the best for the people around here, or is it vengeance against Blood Joan? He felt genuine last night when he showed me the good the Rats were doing."

Lady Dawn tilted her head. "Motivation is a complicated concept, Contractor. This Karsien may not be driven by just one objective. He may have complementary end goals; one to see his enemies fall, and the other to see his allies prosper. But that does not detract from my earlier statement."

"That's an awfully insightful look into humans from an asuran mind," I said musingly, more to myself than to the phoenix.

"It is engrained," Lady Dawn replied, countering my observation with what could either be obliviousness or apathy.

The moment stilled, then I asked a question that had been tugging at the back of my mind for a while now. "What do you do when you're not gliding over the stones in front of me?" I asked. "Do you just... vanish into my core, or am I just not able to see you?"