Forgive me... [Boboiboy x Reader]

Part 14

You were reading one of the books on Ying's Kindle that she had left for you. You looked up expecting to see a nurse but your eyes were met with a pair of sad chocolate brown ones. 

Your breath hitched in your throat as you took in his appearance, Pale face, pink circles around his puffy eyes, messy hair, bandaged palm... He looked like he had been in an accident as well.

Boboiboy looked at you and his hands trembled by his sides. Sun Rays hit one side of your face, your eyes appeared a shade lighter, and your hair was in a messy bun at the nape of your neck. 

"Hi..."

"Why are you here?"

"Because... You're here, [Name]"

"Get out" Your lips quivered threatening your resolve. 

Boboiboy took a step towards you, "How are you?"

"I'm fine. Now please leave"

Boboiboy took careful steps towards you. "I'm sorry..."

"Leave"

"Please... Just hear me out..."

"There is nothing left to talk about so leave" 

Boboiboy bit his lips, holding himself back from breaking down. "Please just hear me out"

"Why should I?" You looked away towards the window and bit your lips. 

Boboiboy took another step towards you. "Please [Name]... I understand I fucked up and this is all my fault-"

"No!!" You yelled at him which he quickly shuts up. 

"You don't understand anything! You... You see all these scars and wounds but you don't know how it feels... How it feels to have them... How heavy everything feels! How it feels to lose everything again and again and again!! You have no idea how it feels to have people doubt you every time... You won't get it because you always get what you want... You're the great Boboiboy Amato who can never be wrong and no rules apply to you! You are a hero and I'm not!... Not anymore... I know you and Layla think that my life means nothing and you know what? You are right it means nothing and trust me I wish I was dead too but still, you don't get to play with it! How dare you stand here and tell me that you understand? What have you lost Boboiboy? You might think that all these wounds would heal and everything would be back to normal but it won't! Do you know how it feels to have wounds that never heal? Do you know how it feels to have scars that remind you of everything you've lost? You don't... You never would..." You were heaving and your throat hurt from all the yelling. 

Boboiboy's eyes were fixed on the floor.

Boboiboy soaked in every word and every word pierced his heart, his heart ached thinking that you thought so little of him...

"Tell me, if I hadn't been in the accident... If none of this had happened would you still be here? in front of me asking me to forgive you? I don't think so... If I have to almost die to... To make you believe me then I don't want you to believe me Boboiboy... What you feel right now is not love, it's guilt. So let me free you of this guilt, I forgive you... I forgive you not because I want you, I forgive you because I don't want anything to do with you anymore..."

"Please... Don't say that..."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Just listen to me..."

"Why should I when you never listened to me?"

"Because I love you..." You looked at your hand in your lap and chuckled.