Caught Up In A Moment [Kaylor]

Chapter Twenty-One - Lord, Save Me

Karlie looked back at Taylor, who had rolled over onto her back and frowned. That wasn't good. Karlie shut off the kitchen lights, limped over to the bedroom and pulled the blonde to her side, then sat back on her own bed. Okay, tomorrow was the day. She had to talk to Taylor. For real this time.

In the meantime, though, Karlie crawled into bed. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness, and she kept her gaze on Taylor's silhouette until it all faded away.

*~~~*~~~*

Karlie woke up to the sound of Taylor's retching. She figured this would happen, and she knew the cycle of events that was about to transpire. With a sigh, she rose from her bed and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Taylor, you okay?" she asked, knowing the answer.

"No," came Taylor's muffled voice.

Karlie pressed her lips together and opened the door to find Taylor on the floor of the bathroom, her face planted over the toilet bowl. Taylor lazily flushed the toilet and let herself flop to the ground. She'd been crying – sobbing, probably, judging by the deep red flush of her face and the amount of wetness on her cheeks. She took a shuddering breath as she looked up at Karlie.

"Are you done throwing up?" Karlie asked as she crouched down, leaning against the wall. At Taylor's weak nod, Karlie told herself to keep a level head. "Do you want water or crackers or something?"

Taylor shook her head no.

"Taylor, what's wrong?" Karlie asked bluntly, deciding to skip any small talk. She gave Taylor a tired look, hoping that she understood that she wasn't the only one dealing with the consequences.

She took another shaky breath. "I... I'm sorry."

"I know," Karlie responded.

Taylor shook her head, her hair pooling under her in tangled knots. She sniffed and blinked out another tear. "I'll stop. I promise."

Karlie stared at her in turn, because it wasn't the first time Taylor had said that. In fact, she'd said it twice that week already. She tried to keep her face neutral, but it was really hard. "Taylor, I love you. But it's hard to see you like this. I need you to really try, b—Taylor," she corrected herself, remembering the last time she tried to use that pet name for Taylor. It just made her cry harder.

"I just, I can't stop beating myself up," Taylor whispered, saying more than she'd said about it since Thanksgiving. Karlie turned her head slightly at the new information. "I keep fucking everything up. I can't stop disappointing people. I'm just so fucking tired."

She'd also said that a lot, about being tired. "What are you tired of?" Karlie prompted, trying to see if Taylor would keep talking.

"I'm just tired," Taylor parroted blankly. Karlie knew what she was doing, she was trying to shut everything out, but that was a dangerous game.

Karlie reached out and pulled Taylor by the shoulders until she sat up. She was limp like a ragdoll and her blue stare burned into Karlie, backed by the tear-irritated red whites of her eyes. Karlie's brow turned up at the sight. She was so broken, and she wasn't really sure why. "Taylor, please don't do this. Talk to me. We can figure something out."

There was nothing behind Taylor's eyes. She just shook her head. "It's not worth it."

"Of course it is!" Karlie fought the urge to pull Taylor into a hug. She knew she was already overstepping just by having a hold on Taylor at all. "I, Taylor, I don't know how to help you. You have to help me help you. Tell me what you need. Please."

"I need you to leave me alone," Taylor muttered, shifting her gaze to the floor.

"No, I am not doing that," Karlie refused. "Taylor, please. I am begging you."