Black & White

Chapter twenty two

"Miss, I understand your frustration, but Alexei left ecchymoses on Félix's face and this could lead him to bigger troubles. I am nice to not involve the police in this. And Félix, you are expelled from this school. Bullying a student everyday for two months straight is insanely non acceptable. You crossed the line."

"What! But I wasn't even the only one doing all those things!" Félix seems upset.

There is too much going on right now. My mom is in shock and probably is thinking of torturing Félix deadly, while Félix is about to destroy the whole office and I sit on the chair, wanting to jump from the fourth floor of the school. I'm not sure it's a joke though, which is pretty concerning.

"Dear, you have the control over everyone following what you do. Don't pretend I never noticed it. Of course, they will have consequences, but not as bad as yours. Because you started all this."

It's hugely satisfying seeing Félix finally getting roasted. Finally!

"And also, dude, bullying your own best friend is wild. I didn't know a horrible person could be so horrible that he starts body shaming someone he has a strong friendship with."

I feel like it's my moment, to prove how bad he is. Seeing him becoming distressed, having to realize he's not the actual main character of the school.

"What are you talking about?"

"Of course, pretend you never did that"

"Félix, as I said, you are expelled, and you own an apology letter for Alexei and your friend."

He is tearing up, and Mom is still glancing at him.
"Where are your parents?"

"My dad is in vacations somewhere else and my mom is sick." He shrug his shoulders.

"Well, I will have to contact them."

Félix is crying and I stay neutral, looking at the wall. I'm too tired to cry I think. I know I'm in trouble, and I know my mom won't ignore that kid that got expelled.

"Hey, little boy!"My mom is walking behind Félix after the whole "chat" at the office.

"What? Everything is fixed now."

"You are wrong! You don't know how much we are struggling with war? How it's hard for Alexei to deal with this?"

He steps back, but he knows my mom won't let him. "Sorry, sorry-"

"You saying sorry won't make a change, young boy! Alexei barely eats anymore, the only thing he does is stay on his bed and he has burns and scars all over himself because of what you are making him go through! You are absolutely disgusting!"

I am behind my mom, horrified by what she just said, and Félix raises his chin to look at me. I am walking away, from my mom and Félix. My mom just made a huge mistake, and I'm going to make her feel it.

[In Russian]
"Alexei, where are you going?"

I walk faster, and she runs after me, her high heels making noises. "Alexei, talk to me!"

"No, I won't, Mom!" I yell at her, pulling her away from me. "Get away from me!"

"Honey, what is going on?"

I chuckle. "Seriously, Mom?Why would you say all of this to Félix, huh? Don't you see it's personal, Mom? I didn't even want to tell you about all of this because I knew you can't fucking keep things for you!"

She grimaces and still not let me go.
"Alexei, don't cuss please, you know I don't like that."

"Of course you told everyone! You even told uncle Sergei! How do I know? Dmitry texted me you almost told everyone."

She looks at me screaming of anger, but she don't yell back. Only a trembling voice resonated from her. "Why didn't you tell me that you have been bullied since February?"

"Exactly because I knew you tell everyone."

She sighs and takes my arm.
"Let's go home, Alexei. That is enough."

"Oh no, I am not coming with you", I laugh.

"You do! How will you go home if you don't have a car, dear?"

I smile,  looking up at her. "I'll walk. Twenty-five minutes of walking is fine for me."

I leave her in the middle of the hallways, thinking it's her type to run after me and begging me to come back to her. But she's not, surprisingly. She might be thinking I won't actually walk those twenty-five minutes of walk, maybe?

I am heading out, putting my earphones on. The more I walk the more frustrated I feel. Félix is going to tell everybody with no question about my scars and burnings my mom was crying about. I'm going to get exposed.

A bridge is getting my attention, and I feel distracted now. Nothing matters around me, besides that one bridge meters away from me.

I know it's not my way home, but I have to walk through that bridge. My brain is telling me what to do and it's rare that I don't obey it.

Step by step, I am almost heading it and I'm eager to. There's a very tight space between cars and the border of the bridge so I stick to my left, trying to not get my feet run over by them.

The skies are grey, depressing, and the bridge has a certain height. I'm not scared of heights, so I'll be okay.

My friendship with Émile is over, my sick worried mom told everybody about my scars and diagnosis, she now knows I beaten someone almost deadly and my dad is staying a bastard, what can I do now?

I climb the metallic border of the bridge, and look down at the rocks and water. I admit I am scared. Should I jump? Should I? Then instead to hesitate I'll just do it. I'm exhausted to have to choose.