Black & White

Chapter fifteen

"Since when has he behaved like this?" she asks.

"Half february", my worried mother answers.

I am still frozen, and the doctor is nodding constantly listening to my mom. She also asks her a lot of questions, and Mom is answering them all, making them look dramatic. It's a little bit awkward."Alexei, I know this might be uncomfortable for you, but I need to know what could be the cure for your burning, okay? Inner thighs are not a usual surface what the burning is from, okay? And I would like you to describe your own side of your emotions and behaviouralchanges."

My mom looks at me, with a smile and pleases me to obey my doctor. "Uhm, sure..."

I mean, I should have expected this...

"I'll use the curtains for you, okay? You'll have to get off your pants but nothing else."

I really don't want to do this. But I guess I don't have any other options.

I get them off and cover my face of embarrassment. Mom is waiting on the chair and the doctor comes to me, with her gloves. I think she sees I'm embarrassed.
"It'll take a few seconds okay?" she tells me, trying to reassure me.

Doctor Tessier is also checking on my legs, and I look at the roof, not moving. I think she is noticing I lost weight. Like a lot. She manipulates the scars on my legs and l know I'll have to make up a lie. She weighs my weight and look up that the lbs showing up.

"Effectively, your son lost weight", she tells my mom. I know she is worrying behind those beige curtains. I think she expects the worst, and so do I.

The doctor comes back to my burning and she glances at me. "Alexei, have you done this to yourself? This burning looks like you did it on purpose", she asks me, really lowering her voice to be subtle.

Of course, I'll lie.

"No, I tripped", I admit to her. But I know she's not that naive.

"Alexei, you know I've had patients who self harm. I know what it looks like. Lying to your doctor is putting yourself in danger."

Yup, I'm in trouble.

"Miss, I'm not self harming..."

She seems discouraged. But I can't help it, I'll look less ridiculous if I lie.

"You are fifteen now, right? It's legal for you to talk only with me without your mom around. Would you rather this? It'll make you feel less pressured."

I'm not really helping myself. I think it'll be less worse if my mom won't be there crying because I "self harm".

I take a big breath, closing my eyes. "Okay, but she'll insist."

"Even if she insists, she has no choice but to leave if you don't want her to be here. It's your privacy."

I see her outline behind the window, and doctor Tessier comes to her, while I am putting my pants on fastly.

"Miss Pacaroskova, I will need to have a private chat with your son."

She'll refuse, look at this.

"Can't I stay here?" she asks, abruptly.

I am not saying a word and letting the doctor talk. "For legal reasons, because your son is over fourteen years old, I have no choice but to make you leave for your son's privacy."

I stay behind the curtains because I don't want to fight with my mom.

"I'm not leaving", Mom says, non-surprisingly.

"Miss, you have to."

"Did my son ask me to leave? I don't think so."

I feel guilt shivering in my skin and she doesn't move.