miserable • han centric

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒.

creds to owner of the pic ^^

•suicide attempts mentioned
•smut
•cursing
•abuse

The kids got ready for their schedule but jisung was left behind in the van getting scolded by his manager for not keeping up

"han i need you to keep up with the boys your so slow" "what the fuck do you want me to do? i fainted" han exclaimed, his boss looked at him with glint in his eyes

"hah, so now you wanna speak up?" han realized what he did, he wasn't allowed to speak up or 'talk back' to his managers because it's disrespectful even if they criticize you

"answer me you whore" the manager yelled "i-im sorry" jisung looked down at his feet with a tear under his eye threatening to fall down his cheek

the manager mumbled things jisung couldn't hear but in just a few seconds the manager slapped jisung across his cheek leaving a red mark 'shit how am i supposed to cover this up' jisung sucked in his breathe and held in his tears

"when i check up on you tomorrow you better have improved im not fucking playing, dont tell nobody i did this if you do ill drop the scandal" the manager exited out the door and pulled out a cigarette out from his pocket and smoked it outside near a bush

jisung stayed behind and regretted everything 'why me? i should have not auditioned, what the fuck am i doing here? What's the point if ima get abused repeatedly? What's the point of living? it wasn't even a question at this point for jisung, he just wanted to kill himself right there like he tried years ago

But the day when he did try unfortunately felix found him buying rope from the store felix was gonna buy snacks for him and jisung, he was gonna surprise jisung so he followed jisung to the dorm and found jisung dragging a chair, and his rope to his room, felix is thinking a lot of different things on why he bought that rope, and then it finally clicked.

jisung doesn't know how he didn't hear anything from behind him but it might be because felix is a little sly fox and can do anything and everything,

that day felix bursted in thru jisungs door with tears in his eyes while jisung was midway to hanging himself he was already on the chair "jisung stop it! get down!" felix yelled

jisung went down quickly and felt like something clogged his throat and felt guilty

Felix stood there for a while sobbing and then rushed to hug jisung quickly "don't ever do that again" jisung cried with felix "promise?" felix whispered "promise" jisung whispered back

but promises are meant to break aren't they? maybe not but jisung was feeling sad and depressed that day and was emotional

back to present jisung, he was exhausted he got out the black polished van and walked to the idols changing room getting ready for their performance because they came out with an new album named five star

After the stage he went to the backstage and he was exhausted, tired, and he just wanted to jump off a cliff this years comeback, 'gosh i even cried on stage i am so pathetic' jisung thought 'im so worthless now everyone will think wrong'

and right when he got on social media almost immediately when they arrived at their dorm that he shares with hyunjin, and 2chan, once he scrolled thru tiktok, instagram, and twitter nothing was out yet his was probably just exaggerating he thought "i shouldn't make a big deal out of a it" jisung quietly whispered to himself even his members didn't ask him about it

so nothing should go wrong, after 30 minutes he threw on his slippers and stepped outside his room to get a snack, "jisung" hyunjin yelled "hm?" jisung walked to hyunjin in the kitchen