Nanny McPhee: A ThesLally AU

One

This story starts with an empty chair. Not exactly the happiest of beginnings, but if it were not empty, we would not have a story. So the chair is empty and our story begins.

The door to a countryside cottage swung open and a woman ran out screaming. She ran through town screaming. But no one questioned it when they learned as to where she was going.

Theseus was bent over his desk, trying finish his paperwork, when the door swung in; clattering with the wind chime. He whipped his head up as Nanny Whiteley screamed at the top of her lungs.

"They've eaten the baby!" she yelled.

Theseus stood up quickly, grabbing his coat, and running home. He burst through the door and ran up to his children's room. He heard giggling and playing and chewing. He peaked in through the crack in the door, where he saw his eldest son, Oliver, munching on a drumstick that was wearing baby clothes. He sighed and opened the door all the way.

"Children." he addressed, "Where's Ernie?"

Oliver, Samantha, and Isabella sat in silence until they all heard giggling coming from the wardrobe. Theseus pushed through the room, opening the cupboard doors to find Baby Ernie sitting amongst the clothing in just a nappy.

He bent down and picked him up. He looked back to the others, "Good on you. Nanny Whiteley has resigned." he handed Ernie off to Oliver, "Now I have to go back to the agency for a new nanny."

And he left the room. He ran down the hall, not paying attention to where he was going. He slipped on one of the children's toys, sending him cascading down the stairs; landing quite crumpled at the bottom. He lay there in dismay, staring at the ceiling, for a minute or two when he heard an inquiring voice.

"Mr. Scamander? Are you alright?" Lally, the children's tutor, asked.

Theseus scrambled to his feet, "Y-yes. It's an afternoon day, isn't it?"

Lally nodded, "Yes, it is."

Theseus clears his throat as an exit sound, "Well, I have to get to the agency. Whiteley quit."

"Oh, did she?" Lally said, "What brought it on this time?"

"They ate Ernie." Theseus told her, "Dressed a chicken in his clothes, and proceeded to eat it."

Lally stifled a laugh, "I will not keep you then. Maybe the next nanny will be brave enough."

Theseus laughed, "Maybe." he turned to leave, but turned back, "Can you pass along a message to Cook that I will be late for supper?"

Lally smiled and nodded, "Certainly. Gives me more time to teach the children."

She turned to make her way to the kitchen. Theseus watched her go before leaving himself. Theseus was off the front stoop before the door even clicked shut. He stopped for a moment to think about his conversation with Lally, but he couldn't remember what she said. He only remembered that she was there in front of him.

He moved forward again and rushed down the road to the agency. People watched him move with haste, knowing everything they needed to. He descended the steps to the agencies front door and knocked rapidly.

"Mrs. Eslie!" he called out.

He heard the door click and a voice called out, "No!"

Theseus turned to the window, "Please, I just need a new nanny!"

The blinds shut fast, "No more!"

Theseus bent over and pushed up the mail slot, "It was a big misunderstanding!" he called through, "It was just a chicken!"

Mrs. Eslie yelled back shortly, "There are no more nannies!"

And she snapped the mail slot shut on Theseus' fingers. Theseus immediately straightens up, rubbing his fingers before placing his hands on his hips; starting home with a distasteful lump in his throat.

But before he could leave, the mail slot opened slowly, and a voice could be heard through it. It said, "The person you need is Nanny McPhee."

Theseus turned around, confused, "Mrs. Eslie?"

The voice repeats itself, "The person you need is Nanny McPhee."

Theseus dropped to his knees, peering through the mail slot, "Yes, yes. When can she start? Is she available today?"

The voice said, fadedly, "Nanny McPhee is not on anyone's books."

Theseus' shoulders dropped and he got to his feet. He must've looked like a crazy man imagining that sort of sentence. He walked home at a fine pace, thinking about how he's going to deal with his children. He leapt onto the front stoop, leaning his head against the front door temporarily before opening it. He made his way up to his children's room and listened to Lally's lesson from the hallway before entering the room.

"Lally, can I talk to the children alone for a minute?" he inquired.

Lally nodded and looked at the children, "Let's put this on pause for a moment."

Lally left the room. Theseus listened to her footsteps in the hall before beginning his spiel, "Bravo, children." he said, sternly, "There are absolutely no more nannies. Are you happy?" he stared at each of them intently before going on, "As a result, I have no other option than to send you to bed immediately after your lesson." and he turned to leave but heard a little voice pipe up.

"Before supper?" Isabella asked.

He paused before the door and looked back at her, "Without supper."

He left the room, smiled at Lally, and went to his office. He entered the room, shut the door, and let out a huge sigh. The day could not get much worse. He sat down behind his desk and laid his face in his hands. He picked up a pen and began going through some paperwork he had brought home.

About thirty minutes later, a soft knock sounded on the door. Lally walked in, holding a few papers. Theseus looked up.

"I had the children write apology notes for you. Would you like me to leave them with you?"

Theseus smiled and pointed to the corner of his desk, "Please."

Lally set down the stack of papers and turned back to the door, "Enjoy your evening, Mr. Scamander."

"As do you, Lally." Theseus replied, as he watched her leave.

He reached forward for the stack of papers. When he brought them toward him, he knocked the newspaper off the desktop. The article that the paper flipped open to said in big lettering:

The Person You Need is Nanny McPhee
contact:

Theseus basically leapt to his feet, snatching the paper from the floor and straightening it to read the contact. His face dropped when he saw that the children had cut paper dolls out of it. He collapsed back into his desk chair and looked over at an empty chair in front of the fireplace.

"Oh, Leta. How I wish you were still here." he whispered under his breath.