It's You

Chapter 16

It hadn't taken long for Yohan to notice the unusual mood and wake fully. The elder had been so worried but hadn't pressured Gaon to explain something he hadn't even understood himself and had merely tucked him in under the covers of their – of Yohan's – bed, spending the entire day caring and holding him as Gaon had switched uncontrollably between turning frighteningly catatonic and weeping against the elder's chest. That had been the only day during the two weeks of rest the doctor had prescribed that had him feeling burned out.

Tomorrow Yohan would finally take him away to Switzerland and Gaon was wide awake, gazing softly at the sleeping man beside him. It was only hours before Yohan would take him away and he couldn't wait for it. He'd meet Elijah for real and not just over a screen; they could finally be a whole family but most of all they'd be away from the place that was hurting the kind and gentle man next to him.

Yohan could try to hide it all he wanted but Gaon knew. He saw it in the elder's eyes when he thought Gaon wasn't looking, the scary vacant gaze roaming through the room seeing ghosts. He felt it in the hugs when his muscles tensed under Gaon's hands. And he heard it in the wails during the night that Yohan wasn't even aware of; soft, almost inaudible whimpers of pain. This house was hurting the one he loved and while it felt more like home than the house that was apparently his, it would never be their true home either.

Today though, Gaon had woken up early to surprise Yohan with breakfast in bed and something about that idea, about giving the elder reason to smile – shyly with pink hues covering his cheeks – just felt so right. Leaning over, Gaon placed a soft kiss on Yohan's forehead before slipping out of bed, careful not to wake the other.

*

With the coffee machine running and eggs cooking in a pan, Gaon turned on the oven to keep the already made sandwiches warm, setting the timer for a minute and a half, not knowing what was coming next.

One moment he was cheerfully humming to himself, almost dancing through the kitchen with everything feeling like coming home, as if he'd rediscovered a long-lost love, and in the next his eyes found the digital clock, red numbers counting down from one minute and thirty seconds, paralyzing him as the ticking noise grew louder and louder until it was the only thing he noticed anymore.

Professor Min sat gagged and tied up in an office chair, staring disbelieving at him. Gaon would have felt guilt as the man he had considered a father, the person he had trusted above all, looked at him with poorly hidden horror but he didn't. All he felt was sorrow, so deep and heavy it pulled him down and down, drowning him, killing him.

Opening his jacket, he watched numbly as the Professor's eyes widened further at the sight of the bomb strapped to his chest. Surprisingly, the explosives were much lighter than the self-hatred weighing on his shoulders.

"Let's go together, Professor."

They had both been responsible for the destroyed lives, so it was just fair they'd both pay the price together. It was horrifyingly easy to start the timer, flipping the switch over and watching calmly as a red 1:30 appeared. It was so, so easy, he wondered why he hadn't thought of that way before.

But Professor in didn't seem to share his thoughts, panickily trying to get up. As if Gaon would let that man, that monster, escape so easily. Kicking him in the gut, he watched with vindictive pleasure as he collapsed on the floor, pressing his foot against Min's chest and holding him down.

It felt so good to have his puppet master beneath his feet. Gaon wasn't his puppet anymore. He'd cut those strings when he'd found out the truth; too late to atone and beg for forgiveness from the one he'd betrayed but perhaps, if he was lucky enough, he'd get the chance to do all that in another life.