Songbird

Twenty-Six: Colt

The leaves began to change, and the breeze grew cool. It was my favorite time of year, perfect for bonfires and hoodies, snuggling under the stars. Unfortunately, I was lacking a partner for the last part, but I felt like I was getting closer. After two months of twice weekly therapy sessions, I was beginning to feel lighter. It felt like I was truly letting the past go, truly healing from the train wreck that was Rachel and I. And trust me, I finally realized the train wreck it really had been.

Things between Lennie and I began to ease. Being around each other grew less and less awkward, to the point that I started taking Beau out to Orchard myself. I met George and Reba... and Randy. It was... nice, for lack of a better word. It felt like we were friends again. Not that I wasn't still in love with her, I absolutely was, maybe even more so, but I was content with this. I was content in having her in my life at all. I hadn't always deserved it, but this brighter, lighter Colt? He did.

"Sorry," I apologized, strolling into Leon's studio. "Got held up."

"Out at Orchard again?" he asked with a knowing smile.

I tried not to grin like a doofus. "Maggie's out of town. She needed some help with the chores."

"Riiiight..." Leon chuckled. "I gotta say, man, I'm impressed."

"With what?" I asked, sitting in the empty desk chair next to him at the soundboard.

"Just... you," Leon stated. "You seem... different. A lot different."

I just shrugged. "Therapy's working wonders, I guess."

"Shoulda done it sooner."

"Probably," I sighed.

"Do you feel better?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I feel... lighter? I guess. I don't know. It's hard to explain. The first few weeks were rough. Going back through all the Rachel shit was... a nightmare, but now? Now I feel oddly at peace with it all. Never thought I'd be able to say that."

"Good, man. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," I smirked, looking around at the mostly empty studio. It was just Leon and I. I wasn't sure why he'd called me out here, but here I was. "So, what am I doing here? Where's the kid?"

"Back in Nashville for the week, thankfully."

"Not a fan?" I asked with a chuckle.

"He's a good kid, but Jesus," Leon sighed. "He spends more time hitting on Lennie than he does working."

"Yeah, that's what she said."

"She told you?" he asked, arching a surprised brow.

"Yeah. We talk quite a bit," I stated with a nonchalant shrug. "She seems pretty annoyed by it, honestly."

"And... talking to her about another guy... doesn't make you all stabby?"

I laughed. "Not this kid, no. I don't know how I'd take hearing she was interested in someone else. Guess that's something I'll have to work on. Probably gonna suck a bit."

"You giving up on getting her back?"

I sighed, heavily, not really sure how to answer that. I scratched my fingers through my beard and took a deep breath. "I wouldn't say I'm giving up, but I'm not... pushing it," I reasoned. "I get that I hurt her, a lot. I am more than aware of that, and I hurt myself in the end, too. In a perfect world, yeah. I'd want us together, but... I'm also kind of happy with how things are, ya know? Little bit apprehensive to rock the boat. And... honestly, I don't know how she feels about 'us', ya know? Wasn't all that long ago she basically said there wasn't a chance, so... I'll take what I can get, I suppose."