Star Side

Chapter 67

Once through the curtains, and seeing that my eggs were safe in their incubator, I made quick time stripping out of my space suit. I even went a step farther and stripped off all my clothes as well, which instantly got Gilrack's attention. His mind waves went lava hot in record time.

Feeling coy, something I didn't get to feel often in my life, I maybe did a little bum wag. Though this is a secret I'm taking to my grave.

He was on me in a second, all purrs and fang and burning skin.

Some time later, cleaned and satisfied, we were finally cozied up together in our nest with the eggs between us, neither of us too keen on doing anything productive, even though I knew he had drills to run with a section of the army his mother had given him responsibility over. Gilrack had thoroughly made me never want to walk again, so I was planning on doing just that.

The one who eventually came up to drag him out of the nest, however, wasn't his mother this time, his father, Horack. He didn't have to say a word. He just took a deep sniff of the air and looked at Gilrack and his son started crawling out of the nest, oozing repentant shame. I covered my face as well, knowing Horack could smell exactly what we had been about.

Even as they left and my embarrassment faded, I had to admit, being married, even if it was to an alien, wasn't that bad at all. Actually, it was probably the happiest I'd been in my life. Even happier than the quiet peace of the space station which I still sometimes missed.

I drifted through daydreams in a half-doze, remembering and fantasizing. I scolded myself for not worrying more about the idiot thinking he could grow wings by stealing me from Gilrack while we were out and about, but it was hard to worry when Gilrack made such quick work of him and I felt so satisfied and safe in my hole in the mountain. And once Shatit deemed Gilrack ready to be chief he'd have armies at his command to tear arms off people. Not to mention I'd soon have little babies to love on and concern myself with. Perhaps it just wans't in me to worry about the future when I was comfortable and alone.

When I finally did fall asleep that night, after yet another delicious meal, my subconscious had much more sense than me. Demons, actual demons, with arrow tipped tails and shiny skin came after me with a mouth full of teeth and dangling, fleshy swords ready to violate every entrance they could find on me. Claws tore my flesh down to the bone. Fire licked the stone walls that pulled in ever closer till any space I had left to breathe was left to the devils who devoured me.

I woke up screaming. Gilrack was already awake and pouring every comforting sound and mindwave he could emit on me. He pressed the eggs to my chest, reminding me they were there, safe, whole, alive, warm, murmuring my safety even though his low, gravely voice had risen a pitch with his alarm.

"I don't want to be raped! I don't want to be killed and eaten!"

Gilrack gave a loud squawk. "That won't ever happen! Kurlongi, I'm here, I'm strong, that would never happen, those who would dare are dead."

But I just continued to cry, unable to stop myself. For some reason, I found myself missing Levi's no nonsense dry humor and clumsy way of comforting, which usually consisted of him logicking his way through the problem like a bulldozer or just staying quiet while shoving coffee at me. I didn't want to feel, I just wanted to stuff it under the bed and pretend it didn't exist. Yet isn't that why I was getting nightmares in the first place? But how does one face this sort of thing and, well, fix it?

"Nothing will hurt you," Gilrack continued to murmur. "I will protect you. You are safe. I am strong. You are strong."

I hiccupped. That's right. I was strong, wasn't I? It was my most unwanted talent, my strong, cave man body.

I finally hugged the eggs and finally felt their comfort.

I had never wanted to be strong. I had never wanted to be manly and a force to be reckoned with. And yet I had taken pride in that, didn't I? It was better to be proud of it than to hate it. Even now I wanted to be the soft, delicate mother who tended to her babies and was protected, as uncool as it sounded. It had made me feel so...happy, in a weird way, to have been babied and protected this past two months.

But maybe what I needed to work past this fear was to once more embrace that I had been blessed with a body that gained muscle easily and, even at my laziest, could go head to head with any man. Maybe it would make me happier to not be the delicate mother, but the dragon mom who bit off heads all while being gentle with her babies.

I muttered my ideas to Gilrack, who responded he'd accept anything that would help me feel safe. Unprompted, probably just that in tune with my mind waves, he told me that my strength was something he found attractive, but he also loved taking care of me in any way I would let him. He'd get me whatever I needed. He would also still beg to wash my hair and carry me around.

It was to his reassuring murmurs that I eventually fell back asleep.

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When I look at a population map and see how empty Nebraska and the Dakota's are, I get the urge to start looking up real estate and job openings. It's the closest to living in space I can get. Dang people. I like you, though. We story folk know how to appreciate a quiet space and dark skies full of stars.