Forbidden Lust

Chapter 15

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Ch. 15: "Pray your sins away."

Rain poured down the misty glass and I sat there by the window side once again, sniffing my nose, crying my eyes out and thinking about my miserable life.

I'm a girl so young and wild, yet so troubled and burdened with problems. No girl should feel like this, all I wish for us, is that we were free from this cruel world and live our life to the fullest without hurt and despair. But it's not destined for us, instead we just have to take it. Take all of it and shove it away in our little broken hearts.

I have been sick, so sick. I could not go to school for a week and now it's the beginning of week 2 and I still haven't been able to drag myself out of bed to get ready. To do all my makeup just to pretend everything was okay while in reality it was not.

I don't miss my classmates, nor the school itself. But I do miss a certain man that made me feel safe and sound. Mr Voss, I have thought about him for days. And I ache for his glances and little smiles he used to give me during class, but I've grown lonely about the fact that I haven't seen him in a while. He must be worried about me, I could only hope he was because he just makes my life a little bit better.

My mom opened my door, talking to me but she was given no response in return. "Sweetie I asked you something?" she calls and I turn my head to her saying. "Huh." In a tired voice.

she sighs. "What am I to do with you. You have been sick for days, it doesn't look good on you." walking to me she brings me a white dress and puts it on my bed. "Priscilla invited us to go to church today. And by the looks of it, you really do need a prayer, sweetie."

I stare at her with a blank face, confused by the fact that she actually wanted to go to church. My mother was of course never a saint and she sure let that be known, but I guess today she felt different.

"I'm okay, I don't wanna go to church." I murmured turning my away from her and back to the window.
"Excuse me, you will young lady. Whether you like it or not, you desperately need it."

I shrugged my shoulders, still not watching her.
"You go hurry up and put this dress on. We'll leave in about 10 minutes and I'll wait for you downstairs." she says without a care in the world, so cold and harsh. "Oh and sweetie...put some makeup on your face, those dark circles don't look nice." she adds, walking away.

I slowly rose from the window side. Walking to my bed and seeing the white dress laid out on the pink sheets. There was no arguing in not going to church today because it seems like my mother would go to extreme lengths of insanity if I told her no again.

I slowly slid the white dress around my body, just fitting nicely, I fastly applied some makeup on my face just because mother told me too. I walked downstairs my mother was ready to go.
"Look at you, beautiful. You look so much better already, you should really listen to me more often." she fakely smiles, patting my arm as we walked to the car.

I felt uncomfortable in this dress and my body still felt so weak and tired and she didn't made it any better with her harsh comments.

We drove our way to church, just in the middle of town, cars were looting the parking lot. A busy church day it was.

I never went to church, I'm not very religious anymore after my fathers passing. But still and will always believe that there is something out there watching over us.