The Bodyguard

Abusive relationships

Hey guys, I decided to this special chapter on abusive relationships. As we all know Bey has been through and abusive relationship with Lyndell, not only physically but emotionally and psychologically.

It's just a story, but unfortunately it happens to a lot of women out there, I was wondering if I could comfort y'all if you've been through such thing, either abused or harassed by a guy, I just wanted to say that you are not alone!

Feminism is usually the one that helps in those situations, not only feminism but the women on the movement that understand you and support you no matter what. Me, as a feminist, will always take a women's word before a guy's, even if that guy is my boyfriend or friend.

Now let's establish what is an abusive relationship thinking of how Bey was treated by Lyndell through the story, cuz I think this is really important:

Emotionally and psychologically abusive relationships: When Lyndell tells Bey that she is worth for nothing, when he tells her that he's the only one for her, when he locks her up and tells her that he killed Shawn and she had nowhere to go, when he tries to force her to get pregnant. Those are all abusive behaviors.

Now let's bring that to our day to day life. You would ask: But how can I know if I am in an abusive relationship? You don't, or maybe you just ignore it, but you might want to pay attention to the little details that can show you that it's abusive. Well just ask yourself those questions:

Is he not letting you go out with your friends? Is he not letting you talk to someone he thinks it's no good for you? Has he ever made you block someone on your facebook or twitter? Does he control the clothing you wear even when he is away or the place that you are gonna wear those clothing? When you guys fight, does he make it seem like it's always your fault? Has he ever made you feel ugly, dumb, not good enough for anybody else? When you thought about breaking up and you told him about it and then he was like: ''ok, if you do that I'll kill myself.''? Does he make you feel like he is the only person that can make you happy and that if you guys break up you are gonna end up alone? Has he ever, when you denied sex, threatened to leave or to break up with you?

Well, you don't need all of those, if you identified with one, you are on an abusive relationship.

These kinda of abusive relationships are really common and it's hard to notice, it's hard to prove it, it's hard to get out of it. And again: You are not alone!

Physical abusive relationships: Now that is what you would say that it's more ''obvious'' what it is. Everyone knows that when a guy beats a woman or rapes a woman it's physically abusive. But there is more to that. When you go to a party and you get drunk (which is ok, women are allowed to drink, smoke and do whatever the fuck they want) and a guy takes advantage of you, that's physical abuse. EVEN if he is your boyfriend! That's important! If you are already having relation with a guy and you get drunk and he does it to you, it's ABUSE! No matter if you are already dating.

When you are making out with a guy and he touches you where he's not suppose to and you don't like it, you take his hand off, and he keeps putting his hand there, it's abuse.

Now Bey suffered a lot of those, we all know that and unfortunately, in the story, she doesn't report it to the police. And it's totally understandable. I don't know about the country you come from, but in my country. Brazil, we have a police department only for women, but they are badly treated and humiliated by the cops, so most of them choose not to file a report. Again, that is where feminism comes in, feminism has its own way of revenge and I've seen it myself they do work.

Well, this is it. I thought it would be important to point those out as it's one of the topics to the story, I hope it helped and if you have any issue or doubt about feminism or about relationships, please come talk to me, you are my sister, I'll help you and I'll always be on your side!

''Here is to strong woman: May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them!''

Love and empowerment to you all!