The Way I Loved You | Conrad Fisher

Chapter one

The day of Susannah's funeral went as expected. A disaster. I was hoping this day never came, but it did.

When my mom got the phone call that morning that Susannah lost her fight, she immediately ran to her room and closed her door. She didn't come out for hours. I tried calling the boys but neither one picked up the phone. When Belly called, it all sunk in. Hearing her say the words. Susannah is gone.

Jere is the first person I see when we arrive to Susannah's house after the service.

"Hey" he says as my mom and I walk up. My mother had already hugged him when we first arrived to the funeral home, but she walks up to him and hugs him again. "I'm really sorry honey" my mom spoke softly.

My mother hasn't said much since she heard the news of her best friend. It has worried me but I don't push my mom to talk if she's not ready. I've learned my lesson once before when I decided to ask about my dad. Ever since then, I don't ask my mom that many questions about anything I know she isn't ready to speak about.

"I'm sorry, too" is all he says. I could see the tears swimming behind his eyes as he did his best to keep it together. My mom squeezed his shoulders as if trying to keep her own tears back to stay strong in front of us. Without saying another word, she walks inside the house to find Laurel.

I walk up to Jeremiah and pull him into the tightest hug. I always forget how much taller he is than me. His arms squeeze around me and we don't let go for some time.

"I'm so sorry, Jere." My voice was barely a whisper. Sorry wasn't going to make any of this better. It wasn't going to bring her back. The moment I pull away from Jere to look at him, I hear Belly's voice from inside the house.

"Go to hell."

Jeremiah spun around to find Belly and his brother by the stairs, and Belly looked like she was experiencing a variety of emotions. Pain. Betrayal. Anger. Conrad just stood there. Seriously? Right now?

The next few words that came out of Belly's mouth were words I never thought she would ever say to Conrad.

"I hate you, Conrad. I never want to see your face again."

People were starting to turn their attention towards them. Belly pushes past Conrad but trips and falls face first. I watched in horror as he went to her but she pushes his hand away. She picks herself up and realizes that all eyes were on her. She turns as if to walk out of the house until her eyes fall on Jeremiah. Then me. I thought she was going to cry right then and there. Laurel stood a distance from her towards the kitchen. The look on her face made me want to hide and I wasn't the one causing a scene. Belly turned and ran up the stairs. Conrad's eyes follow Belly all the way up until she disappears.

"I'm going to go see what's going on" I say to Jere, but he wasn't listening. His eyes were fixated on Conrad, his jaw tight. I make my way over to Conrad. He runs his hand through his hair, watching me as I march my way over to him. Once I knew everybody's attention was away from him, I grab him by the arm and drag him outside. Jere doesn't even glance at Conrad as he steps away from the doorway.

"What the actual fuck is wrong with you??" I say.

Conrad points at himself as if he couldn't believe I had just asked him that. "What the fuck is wrong with me? I didn't do an-"

"Oh please do not tell me you didn't do anything, Conrad! Listen, I don't want to be here yelling at you like a child right now"

"So why are you doing it then, huh?" He says aggressively. I stare at him but remind myself to stay calm. This isn't the day to be fighting.