Not letting you go || wangxian ff

chapter 2

Lan Zhan was awoken by the smell of incense tickling his nose. He had been asleep for 3 days due to his injuries and the grief of losing his husband according to the doctors, whom checked him over.

He made no effort to move, speak or even evaluate his surroundings, what was the point if Wei ying wasn't going to be there? His whole reason for living was now gone, he had no motivation to be in such a cold world. The warmth and brightness of his sun, nowhere to be seen. He turned his head to the right, greeted to a bedside table that had accommodated a bottle of emperor's smile.

"Wei ying...."

He fell into a trance staring at the bottle of alcohol falling into the happy memories he and Wei ying had been in.

Flashback

"Lan zhannnnnn, this emperor's smile is very important to us, I mean it takes us back to our first official encounter, so you should definitely let me drink some before the night hunt, you know what I mean?" Wei ying stated matter of factly, all the whilst knowing that what he said did not make sense.

"Ridiculous..you sure know how to speak nonsense don't you?" Someone who didn't know Wangji would have probably thought this was him being cold but Wei ying, picked up on the fondness in his voice and cracked a bright smile, gaining a small one from the second twin jade in return.

"Well you didn't say no...So I will take it as a yes!"

"Mn. You do that."

End of flashback-----

Oh how Wangji wished his loved one was here to drink that bottle of wine on his table, it was for him after all. Footsteps could be heard, breaking the young man out of his blissful hypnotic state, followed by the familiar voice of his brother.

"Wangji."

"Xichen."

Xichen moved uncomfortably from one foot to another, if Wangji didn't know any better it would've gone unnoticed.

"Well, A-zhan.."

The younger Lan's eyes widened very slightly, eyebrows raised to a very small degree, they had never called eachother so familiarly, atleast not since their mother died. His thought were interrupted when xichen continued with his sentence.

"There's two things I have to say... First thing is that Wei Wuxian's body nor soul was found, it's almost as if.. he never even existed?"

Lan Zhan was at lost for words, what did he mean no body was found? And that's not even the most confusing part, what does he mean his soul wasn't found either? Surely someone would've been able to do Inquiry and reach out to his husband's soul, Lan xichen was there for goodness sake, why wouldn't he be able to reach out for him? He didn't reply to his brother.

"Second thing is.. Shufu is putting you in a 3 year confinement, he claims that it's needed to teach you discipline again, since you've "gone off the tracks after meeting Wei ying", I tried to protest Wangji but it didn't work I apologise." Lan xichen ended with a respectful bow before leaving his brother in his room to gather his thoughts by himself.

Wangji glanced at the emperors smile once again, before picking it up and drinking it swiftly. He knew he couldn't handle liquor but who cared? He just wanted to let go. He wanted this part of Wei ying with him. A lone tear fell from his eye whilst he stared, expressionless, at the floor. He stood up and found himself kneeling Infront of the wen clans branding iron, and without thinking he placed it on his chest, the same place Wei ying had once received the blow.

Despite rarely ever showing his emotions, Wangji screamed out in pain, partially because of the self inflicted wound on his chest, but also because of the pain he felt knowing he would never see his loved one again.
After many hours of crying and weeping, he found himself walking towards the mountains in cloud recesses, greeting the bunnies his Wei Ying had once gifted to him.

Flashback----

"Here, I brought these here for you" Wei ying beamed at Lan Zhan

"No pets allowed in cloud recesses." The second young master Lan recited the rules of the gusu Lan sect.

"If you don't wanna keep them, I will eat them, should be no problem in that right?" The red ribboned youth retorted.

The white robed teen glanced at the mischievous individual, then at the bunnies that had been brought along, before sighing and replying, "Shameless, how could you say that?"

"Do you want them, Lan Zhan? If you don't reply i'll take that as a yes."

And Lan Zhan did just that, he stayed silent.

"See I knew you wanted them, loosen up, don't be so reserved all the time."

"..boring"

"Aiiiii, Lan zhannnnn..!"

End of flashback ---

Oh Wei ying, where are you my love? Should I meet you on the other side? Should I stay here and wait for your return? With those thoughts in mind he summoned his qin and sat on a rock. The moon was bright and illuminated the area that he had been sitting. Lan Zhan started plucking the strings on his instrument before asking the first question.

..Wei ying are you there?

No answer.

Wei ying are you okay?

No answer.

I love you so much wei ying, please come back to me.

No answer.

Tears made Wangjis vision blur, his hands shaking ever so slightly, his heart clenching in his chest as he yearned for the man he loved the most, the person who taught him what it was like to be loved.

Wangjis brother once again appeared behind him, a tender look of pity imbedded into his expression as he looked at his broken down brother. Xichen watched as his brothers eyes diverted towards his own and he walked towards his little brother, upon seeing his red, puffy eyes, embracing him tightly whispering sweet nothings into his ears. He took his brother back to the jingshi  making him tea to calm him down. Whilst attending to Wangji, the fresh Wen clan branding didn't go unnoticed by xichen, and he managed to utter out, "A-zhan, what's this..?" And in return all he got was a choked sob and a small sentence.

"I want Wei ying back, *hicc* if I got a chance to go back in time *hicc* and change this outcome, I would do it *hicc*"

His head hitting the table because of his drunken state surely after.

A/N- this chapter is so messy and chaotic, if you don't like it or understand I'm so sorry, I don't know where I'm going with this story but I hope you all stick around. Also, should we include wen yuan in this story or not...I really don't know!