The Benevolence of the Force by Spiritofthesky4 (WILL RETURN)

Chapter 3: Verus

I stared at the guy for an entire minute before snorting so hard my throat hurt.

"Yeah, and I'm Yoda. Sure, you're Obi-Wan Kenobi. That's not the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

Not-Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. "I... what?"

"Dude, your cosplays are great. Like, seriously. The armor? I don't know what you made it out of, but it sure is realistic. But there is no way on Earth you're Obi-Wan Kenobi and the 501st."

Another guy pushed to the front of the clone cosplayers. This guy was dressed as Anakin, with a startlingly realistic scar. Not-Obi-Wan handed him a small object, which Not-Anakin then placed in his ear.

"Why can't they be? Do enlighten us," He said, sounding exactly like Hayden Christensen.

"Because they don't exist? They're fictional characters? Listen, guys, I'm impressed with the costumes," I said as I stood up, brushing snow from my pants. A not-clone dressed as Echo offered me a hand, but I waved him away. "But what the hell? You're trespassing on private property. Not to mention, what even– how– why–" I gestured to the wreckage of the maybe-spaceship. "Literally? What? Dude? You destroyed this entire field. Cosplaying doesn't give you the right to trespass or destroy stuff."

"We aren't cosplaying, " said a female voice, sounding very offended at this statement. A smaller shape appeared behind Anakin. She stepped into the beam of one of the flashlights, revealing a young girl in what is probably one of the most freakishly realistic Ahsoka Tano costumes I've ever seen. She took another tiny object from Not-Obi-Wan and placed it– somewhere behind her lekkus, maybe? Perhaps stuck it to the back of them? I didn't see.

"Holy heck," I said. "Dude. That costume is incredible. How'd you make the lekku and montrals? Resin? 3D printing? How long did it take? Is it heavy? That's the best Ahsoka costume I've ever seen."

"...huh?"

"Anyway. Seriously. You guys have got to leave, at the very least. I just wanna go home. I don't know what to do with the ship, though. How did you even get it here?"

"We flew it," Not-Anakin said.

"Or rather, crashed it," Not-Obi-Wan added.

I sighed. "I'm serious. Enough. I will call the police if you don't leave."

Not-Obi-Wan cringed a bit. "Ma'am. If you could just tell us where we are, we would vacate the planet immediately. We don't know what you're talking about, we are not cosplayers and very real."

"Listen. Guys. Whatever this roleplay is, I didn't sign up for it. If you're lost, especially in the wilderness of Washington state, then pretending to be space wizards isn't gonna help."

Not-Obi-Wan looked at Not-Anakin, who looked at Not-Ahsoka.

"...Washington state?" Not-Obi-Wan asked.

"...Yeah? Washington state? North of Oregon?" I was starting to get a bit annoyed. The weather was getting worse, and if we didn't get out of here soon, everyone would be frozen into ice blocks.

"Where's that?" Not-Ahsoka asked.

"Ah, you're from out of the country, I see. Sorry. We're in the United States."

The Not-Jedi exchanged glances again, obviously confused.

" ...Where? " Not-Anakin implored.

"Bit unlikely that you haven't even heard of the USA, we're pretty well known, not for the nicest reasons, but alright. North America?"

Their faces remained blank. Wow, I thought. They are REALLY good at acting. Totally selling this roleplay.