꒷꒦▪︎꒱꒱ - "a message to you" ; ruikasa

12 : your scars

new scars on top of old ones.

rui lifts his right hand up, wincing suddenly at the movement in his forearm, to gently trace around the new cuts and on top of the old scars.

he liked how his scars looked. It made him look strong. tough. like he'd been in a battle and won. no, actually, wait, he wouldn't be able to wear short-sleeved shirts in public now. he'd get called emo and an attention seeker. what point was he trying to make again?
‎

rui did not hear the shuffling coming from outside the bathroom door when he was having his breakdown.
he did not hear the faint knock on the door when he took gauze from the medicine cabinet to wrap his arms up.

he didn't expect saki to be waiting in front of the door, her arms crossed. rui practically jumps at her sudden appearance, and she lets out a faint yelp as well before almost immediately calming down right after.

"i thought tsukasa was in there. i didn't expect you," saki says, rubbing her eyes.

rui shrugs, pulling the sleeve on his pajama shirt down a bit more for good measure. "had a nightmare."

"oh, really?" saki frowns. "hope you're okay now."

rui's breath hitches, "i'll manage. it wasn't that bad." he steps aside so saki could go into the bathroom.

saki yawns. "get a good sleep for the rest of the night, rui-kun," she peers behind her shoulder with a cautious look on her face. does she know? no, she couldn't.

‎
by the time saki shut the door rui had finally remembered he left the gauze on the sink counter.

she knows.

she'll spill.

it's so obvious.

‎

rui wants to punch himself, but he's so mentally and physically tired at the same time he just wants to cuddle up close to tsukasa and fall asleep in his arms as the little spoon until the sun or saki rudely startles them awake.

he drags his feet all the way back to tsukasa's room.

-

"tsutsu?" rui's voice enunciates, tone smooth as silk.

no response.

"tsukasa-kun," rui repeats, subtly shuffling back onto the bed so as not to startle tsukasa awake. regardless, rui's words cause him to stir, his eyelids fluttering open to be greeted by the presence of his boyfriend. his features looked a bit off, but tsukasa didn't want to comment on it.

"ugh," tsukasa groans, bringing his hands up to his eyes to rub them, "rui?"

hey, so i've been lying to you, rui wants to say.

instead, he holds tsukasa's hand and intertwines his fingers with the latter. "i just had a nightmare and i got a bit freaked out," rui says.

tsukasa sleepily sits up, his head resting on the headboard.

"you poor thing," tsukasa squeezes rui's hand.