I'm feeling angsty + last chapter sucked ass so i'm making up for it with this
i have no idea where i'm going with yhis bear with me
TW : mentions of self hąrm, svicide, and overd0sing
《 your scars 》
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"beautiful no matter what"
zᶻ
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if you knew rui, you could easily make out the fact that he most definitely had his own secrets. just like anyone else.
aside from that, he'd always be upbeat and generally just a silly person in general.
rui stares at his disheveled self in the mirror. he'd just woken up from a nightmare, and he didn't want to startle tsukasa awake. he couldn't fall back asleep that easily, either, so he'd just rely upon going to the bathroom and getting lost in his thoughts until the morning.
kamishiro recalls his dream. it was recurring, a simple nightmare he'd have almost all the time.
something felt off tonight.
something had to have been missing from his dream, although he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
this just has to be him getting overwhelmed again. he felt like he wanted to overdose on as much of his meds as possible until he physically couldn't swallow and his throat felt like it's closing in.
but why? he just had the best day yesterday, and he's officially dating tsukasa now, so why is he like this?
he was overthinking again. he puts his palms on his eyes, the tips of his fingers slowly but surely threading through his own bangs.
and then his fingers tense up and start clawing at his hair, and he starts breaking down.
resorting to quiet hics and cries.
he was so close to...
he didn't want to...
he was clean for so long...
-
it was surreal.
he was numb to the pain, but even then, he couldn't believe himself. he stares down at his hands in shame, and then his gaze glides to his forearms.
did i really just cut myself in someone else's house?
i'm so disappointing, rui thinks to himself. the tears falling from his eyes combined with the fresh open wounds on his arms stung a bit, but the only thing that really hurt right now was his heart. his mentality.
what would tsukasa think of him? would they break up? rui knew this was a bad idea, but every slit he made on his arm just a few minutes ago didn't even hurt that much. it'd be fine, would most likely heal in a week.
then it'd just be faint white lines and relief.
YOU ARE READING
꒷꒦▪︎꒱꒱ - "a message to you" ; ruikasa
Fanfiction-♡ tsukasa's lovesick but oblivious to the fact that he is. rui's unaware of how tsukasa feels. THIS STORY IS SO RANDOM!!!!!!!!
