Delta [Epsilon #2]

Chapter Fifty-Four

I reared on him. "Don't be fucking stupid. Of course, it was enough. I don't care that there's a gaping wound in my chest. You saved my life."

My voice fractured with gratitude, and Faelen looked away. I stared down into my lap, welcoming the sting in my eyes. Faelen had done many, many terrible things, but he saved my life yesterday. I owed him for that.

"What else?" he asked after a while.

"Huh?"

"What else do you remember... after that?"

I thought back. The memories were fuzzy now. "I remember bleeding out, and then I called you over. Zion said something to you and--"

"Do you recall him kissing your forehead?" Faelen asked sharply. I stared at him, nodding slowly. 

His eyes hardened, and something in his demeanour shifted. "And do you remember what he said to you?"

"I could barely hear, so no."

"He said he loved you," Faelen gritted out. My mouth fell open with a small oh, and the room descended into silence for a few moments. I looked to Faelen, and although his face seemed to be that of schooled indifference, I could sense something dangerous radiating off him, something I'd never felt before.

Dangerously low, he asked, "Do you have feelings for him, Kyra?"

I shook my head. "No, I only see Zion as a great friend. I think... I think he meant he loves me as a friend. Yeah, that's it," I added -- more to myself than anyone else -- not wanting to consider the possibility that he'd meant it any way else. That, for all those times we'd shared a hug or a friendly kiss on the cheek, it may have meant more to him than it had to me.

Faelen's eyes narrowed imperceptibly. I could tell he wanted to ask something else, but instead, he straightened, his strangely unnerving aura replaced by something more pragmatic. "And what happened after all of that?"

"You were carrying me through the woods. I was in a lot of pain, and I asked you to set me down. You did that, and then--"

My eyes widened, then, and I suddenly realized what this was all about. My head snapped up to him. "You're hoping I remembered what you said to me. That's what this is all about, isn't it?"

Faelen grimaced. "I was worried you'd forget."

"How could I forget?" I asked. "How could I forget anything you've done to me, Faelen? All the shitty things you've done to put me down. All the hateful shit you've said. Of course, how could I just fucking... forget?" I finished, my words like hot acid. I can tell they burned him, for he promptly looked away, and at that moment, I wanted nothing more than to feel mad at him. 

"And yet..." I say, slowly coming around. "And yet how could I forget all the good things you've done for me, too? How could I forget the times we've laughed together, the way you've held me in the dark -- how you saved my life yesterday." I stared him straight in the eyes, then. "No, Faelen, I didn't forget your words. I remember each and every one of them -- clear as day, if that means anything in a drug-muddled state -- because they were good. They showed me you weren't some heartless monster, that there was a possibility you didn't betray me as severely as I originally thought... and yet, I still have my reservations. That what you said wasn't really true. So, tell me now, Faelen, and tell me truthfully: did you mean every word you said to me yesterday?"