𝐂𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥

seventeen

Me and Damon made our way downstairs to see the others with a cigg each and a glass of whiskey. The bottle was nearly gone.

I got myself and Damon glass and sat down with the others.

"There's no other way is definitely the fucking best, thats what sold it to him" Dave said.

"For me it's probably She's so high, it's the most fun to play" Alex continued.

"I haven't heard any of yous music" I said.

"You need to give her a CD of our album" Alex said and gestured to Damon then me.

"Shit i forgot, it's back in the hotel" Damon said.

Graham and Dave started laughing. They were as high as anything.

"You guys better go my brother will be back soon with his mates and you don't want to bump into them" i say.

"Are you sure love?" Damon questioned.

I nodded and gave him a reassuring smile.

They all gathered their stuff and left, Graham and Damon gave me a hug goodbye, Alex and Dave just smiled and left.

Before i could shut the door Damon's hand stopped it.

"I can't leave without your number" he says.

I smiled, opened the door, grabbed a pen and paper wrote down my number and added 'make sure to give me that CD'.

I passed it to him and he smiled then left with the others.

★★★

I was absolutely exhausted. Damon and the others didn't really make a mess, not as much as what Liam and Noel would make, so i didn't have much to clean up.

After i had finished i got my dvd and put on the film 'Stand By Me' one of my favourite films. I needed something comforting on to watch.

Soon after Paul, Guigsy and Noel came in. As soon as i saw Noel i went up to him and threw my arms around him, and he did the same.

I passionately kissed him as he kissed back. We disconnected to leave our foreheads touching.

"I've missed you" i whispered.

"likewise love" was his reply.

"How was college R'kid?" asked Paul.

"Really great actually. I-"

"Where's half of dads whiskey gone? Yous didn't down it all did ya?" Paul asked and looked at me sternly.

Shit.

"I was about to explain" i say.

"Gowan" Paul says and looks and me confused, as does Noel.

"Met some lads at College and they introduced themselves, there in a band too just like yous! Looked like there pretty filled with dosh, anyways, they said there hoping to get a record deal, and after my lesson finished came to me and said they got it and allat! They seemed sound so i invited them over for a bit, you just missed them."

Paul just stood and looked at me.

"What they called?" Noel asked.

"Blur"

"Fuck sakes" Paul shouted.

Noel and Paul both looked mad.

"What? What's wrong with them?"

"The fuckers stole one of our gigs, and there musics shit" Paul said. "Always trying to be better than us, Liam hates them."

"So what? There nice lads? I think yous really like them" i said.

"And you invited them over letting their sodding hands all over dads whiskey" Paul said starting to raise his voice.

"Why the fuck do you care? You despite that sod anyway. Get to fuck man, there nice guys. Im fed up of your shit" i said.

"Fed up of my shit? Ive been the one bringing you up! Well he's still our father and you giving ouwat his whiskey like its sum pack of gum"

"Well you ain't been doing a great job and he couldn't even give a fuck about us to give us money for rent and you care about the dicks whiskey!"

"You bitch!" shouted Paul.

We hardly ever fight, even though it was over something so small it tore me apart. I know he didn't mean what he said. I could tell he was intoxicated too, his eyes were bloodshot and had big purple eye bags.

"Look at your self your turning into him!" i shout.

"Do you think i wanted to bring you up R'kid? i had my whole life ahead of me and it was spent on yous, i lost a mother and father too not just you! It's easy for yous!" he shouted back at me.

I felt like falling to the floor, Noel was standing there in shock, he walked close to me as to comfort me,

"Charlie just leave it, he's obviously not in his right mind c'mon" as tried to steer me away but i moved him away and walked closer to Paul. 

"You think it was easy for me? What dad would do?" i said while pointing at him.

Paul stopped, and gave me a confused look.

"Dad would come in my room almost every night and tell me im worthless, nothing i do was ever good enough, i was a fat fucking mistake! Allat then slap the shit outta me. Yous were always his favourite Paul, and he wouldn't lay a hand on you. And every-time he did it the stench of that whiskey was surrounding him. I want that sods drink gone, preferably smashed!"

Tears were filling my eyes and i couldn't stop them from leaving my body and dropping.
I had never told this to anyone before and it was all coming out as if i couldn't control myself.

I kept my eyes off Noel as if i were to look at him i know i would scream. I could physically feel the pain and sadness inside me.

"Do you know how many times i would cry myself to sleep, curled on my bed crying while hearing you and dad laughing downstairs. The amount of times i resulted to self destruction and i craved a warm body to cry with!"

The anger soon turned into sadness and i just wanted to melt. Being with Damon and Graham brought me out of my quiet reserved self and so did Noel.

I could see Paul tearing up.

He moved closer, and brought me in with a hug.

"Im sorry" he said and held me tight.

"Im sorry too" i mumbled.

Noel came towards us and grabbed my hand, "I wanna take you somewhere c'mon"