Sidemen One-Shots and Smut

47. Harry Pregnancy (Wattpad req)

The pull on my heartstrings making the tears well in my eyes was clearly too close to the stomach- as I felt my inside swirling, bile building in my oesophagus.

Before I knew it I was back at the toilet bowl, hands clasped around the lid with my knuckles going white as I had whole body shakes. My eyes squeezed shut, throat burning as I coughed up residual acid that lingered in my throat, spitting out all that amalgamated, nauseating fluid in my mouth.

And then after the coughs, it all began dawning on me again.

No more going out for drinks.

No more spontaneous planning.

No more irresponsibility.

Those coughs began developing into dry heaves, tears trickling down my cheeks as my breathing became erratic, broken cries and raw sounds coming from a throat I couldn't even believe was my own. 

My body shook with each cry- weak and unstable- and only trembling more as I realised I wasn't just shaking myself. That tiny life form- a consequence of my carelessness- shook with me with each choked sob.

A vibration from my pocket was pulled out with quivering fingers, spotting Georgia's name.

I swiped on on the accept button, lips sealing together as I tried to zone into Georgia's voice.

"Hey girl, you doing alright?"

"M-maybe... Why, has s-something happened?"

"Not really, just wanted to know- have you told Harry yet or are you still-"

I felt that anger building inside me again. It wasn't her fucking problem- easy for her to pressure me- try and advise me and tell me I ought to tell him despite having zero fucking knowledge on what it feels like-

"GEORGIA, FUCK OFF I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT-" I threw the phone out of the bathroom door, hearing it hit one of the bedroom walls. "FUCK. OfF..."

My voice breaking was the last straw before I began losing it hysterically once more. My throat burnt as more acid crept up my oesophagus and found its way into the toilet, tears streaming down my face like a river now- chest rapidly rising and falling as I clutched at my head- everything making me light hearted.

The lights went off after that.

Pulling the pulley down, the lights went off. I didn't want to be seen. I want to see the reflection of a broken woman who I knew was myself. I cried in the dark instead of facing myself and what had happened.

Until I lay back flat against the cool tiles. I had gone through the motions. Dramatic sobs until there was no more liquid and I could only dry heave- to now- simply staring up at the ceiling, eyes tired and breathing steady with the exception of an occasional erratic choke. 

It could have been just a few minutes, or a few hours that I just lay there.

Head empty, stomach empty, body feeling completely light. As though I weren't even alive.

I felt like shit.

I shouldn't have snapped at Harry.

I shouldn't have shouted at Georgia.

I shouldn't have thrown my phone.

I'll tell him when he comes back, Georgia, I spoke internally. Promise. For you.

My mind flicked through the variety of ways he could respond to hearing it. Eventually I filtered it down to a few.

Best case scenario: He's too drunk to understand it and just falls asleep, unable to comprehend what I'd said.