Sunburst

Kabanata 42

"I don't know. I am the cause of her problem."

I know Brielle hated me for always pissing her off, but more than that I hated myself for ignoring her feelings.

"Insecurity. It is not a sin nor a disease. It's part of human nature."

"I never seen nor interpreted it with such negativity," I responded.

"And you never really look much into it."

I never did. Hindi dahil sa wala akong pakialam ngunit hindi ko lang inasahan na mahaharap ako sa ganitong sitwasyon.

"It's no one's fault, Xander. It just so happens that Brielle wasn't able to handle her emotional insecurities well more than the others."

"But - "

"Don't be too harsh on yourself. If there's someone to blame, it should be me." A sad smile appeared on Brianna's face before continuing, "I've been with her the longest yet I wasn't able to help much."

"I'm sure Brielle thinks otherwise. She loves you so much."

Brielle has always adored her sister. She always brags about her and cares about her so much she sometimes forgets about herself.

"And I love my little sister too," she chucked. "Did you know she's the reason I took up psychology?"

"First time hearing about it, but after reading your email, it makes sense."

"I see. Mga bata pa lang tayo marami na akong naririnig na bulong-bulungan sa paligid. Minsan tungkol sa 'kin, sa pamilya, o kay Brielle. Noon hindi ko alam kung bakit kailangang pagusapan ang mga tao sa paligid, ang mga nagawa nila, pagkakamali at mga bagay na kwentong barbero lang. Pero dahil din sa mga usapang iyon, mas natutunan kong bumasa ng tao at maging aware sa paligid."

"You've always been skillful. "

"I just know how to keep things in check, especially my fears. Hindi madaling balansehin ang emosyon at lalong hindi madaling komprontahin ang mga kinakatakutan natin. May mga araw din na hindi ko alam ang gagawin at nawawala ako sa sarili. Hindi naman ako perpekto gaya ng inaakala ng lahat"

"But you managed to deal with it."

"Because I seek help. When someone's afraid, problematic, or dealing with stress, don't let them keep it in. Extend your hand and help. Be it someone who listens, someone who can give a simple hug, or act of kindness, it will lift up a person's heart. That's the only thing I can do to survive and feel that I'm not alone."

~

Sadness. An emotion I never felt whenever I'm with you.

Unpredictable. I never knew when and what you'll do next.

Normal. Being with you became as natural as breathing.

"Hey Brielle, Why do you always call me prince?"

"Kasi nakatira ka sa castle.''

"No I don't."

" Yes you do. "

"Fine, so who's my princess?"

"I don't know. Bakit kailangan mo?Hindi ka naman nag-iisa sa castle 'di ba?"

"My castle is lonely, I needed someone to be with me. Isa pa, hindi ba dapat kapag may prince may princess?"

"Hm, oo nga. Pero kung hindi mo alam kung sino siya, then let's go find her"

"Hah? Saan naman tayo maghahanap ng prinsesa."

"Hindi ko alam. Itatanong ko kay mama mamaya baka alam niya."