Of Blood and Duty

Chapter Sixteen • A Black Eye

Hi darlings! 

Thank you so much for all of your beautiful well-wishes about our wedding! You are too sweet! We had the best time and our now finally married! Woho!

 Here is a long chapter to celebrate you my friends! 

**Long Chapter**

-Loren-

The rest of the day he spent wrestling feelings of guilt and shame. Reliving how Mae's eyes had stared back at him. Big and empty they had stared at him as he had thrown all of his frustrations out on her. 

You should have spoken to her with respect and calmness. A voice echoed in his thoughts. Not his own but someone's he knew very well but could not see. Someone he could trust and share things with... The voice sounded like a woman. She reprimanded him in new ways every time he thought of what he had said to Mae. The woman did not let him find any comfort or shelter behind in the fact that Mae was not exactly innocent in how their so called relationship was developing. It is not the girl's fault you lashed out. The woman told him off sharply, and he knew better than to object. 

It did not matter if Mae was impolite and seldom... no rarely... spoke to him with respect. He knew he ought not have done what he did. Her way of acting toward him did not bother him as much as it would have another, because he knew her sharp tongue and thick skin was her best defense. It was how she survived within the Guild and out on the roads. What bothered him was that he had been disrespectful and offended her. Acted horribly because he had not been able to keep himself together. That bothered him. More than he liked and he could feel the woman in his mind reach out to slap him. He winced more than twice when the palm of her hand felt like it would hit its mark; his face. 

Mae was nowhere to be seen and he would not be surprised at all if someone told  him that she was deliberately avoiding him. If not because he had blatantly declared that he did not trust her and practically called her her father's lapdog, he was more than certain that she stayed away so he could suffer for the entirety of the day without the possibility to apologize and feel a bit of relief. She was not the forgiving kind. Those who wronged her were made aware of it and treated accordingly. 

Later that same evening, those dwelling in the same network of tunnels and burrows as him, where eating their supper in the Hall. He sat with a decent stew in front of him and a tankard of ale. None of the others sat with him, however this was not something he felt particularly affected by. In fact, he was more than comfortable left to his lonesome. Although, this left his mind in full control of everything except his movements. While eating his food, his guilt was eating away at him. Even though it had subsided somewhat from its most intense first stages, it still had him drawing deep breaths in desperation for it to go away - which it did not. Breathing his anxiety out only masked it temporarily until it came rushing back in with the next breath he took. 

You have seen how Evor and Hagan treats her... The thought grabbed him while in the midst of putting a spoonful of stew in his mouth. Rendering him incapable of enjoying the savory liquid and tenderness of the meat. ... how they force her to fight for everything. Never feeling good enough or seen. Always making her claw her way forward, for recognition and respect. He closed his eyes in frustration. Keeping a distraught and regretful groan from filling the Hall. 

In the middle of his meal, a group started laughing out of nowhere. It claimed his attention easily as he gladly welcomed something else to let his thoughts focus on than the anxiety roaring in him, and he had heard no joke being told which had him intrigued. Especially since the laughter was rough in nature. Whoever they were, they were laughing at someone, not something. He looked up, finding that the callous yet amused laughter was aimed at someone standing in the door.