(Genevieve)
He walks out and I hear him pull off in his car.
He just left . He told me we weren't working out and he left. Why would he leave? I know things were feeling weird but we could have talked and everything would have been ok. He didn't even wanna talk he was just done.
Did I do something? I knew something was wrong but I didn't think he'd just be done and leave. It wasn't the best but we I just wanted to keep trying and growing. He told me it was him and not me but I don't believe that. He didn't wanna kiss me , cuddle , have sex and now he just randomly broke everything off with me.
It's definitely me , something is wrong with me. What doesn't he see in me? I thought he felt the same and liked this. I mean who doesn't wanna kiss their "partner". That's weird. Maybe he just felt bad that I was drunk and told him I liked him. Maybe this whole time he was just pretending and didn't really like me.
That's fucked up if that's true , he could have just been honest with me from the beginning. Cause now here I am feeling stupid and played. I didn't even get an explanation I just got a goodbye and an apology. Then he walked out and that was that , nothing else. I don't understand , I really fuckin don't.
(Nick)
I walk into my house with a heavy heart. I feel horrible but this is for her own good. She's not happy with me , as much as she might she is. She wants certain things and I can't give that to her. I'm not the right person for her and I know she's hurting , I am too but it's the right choice and she'll understand that eventually.
I hear music coming from the basement downstairs meaning the boys are probably down there. As I make my way to the basement door I take look at the mirror that's on the wall. I look at the hickey from Gen that is beginning to fade. Everything is gonna remind me of something to do with her. For a while at least.
I don't really wanna make any music right now or really "have fun" but I need to do something to take my mind off of what happened.
I get downstairs
"That was a fast ass , store trip" Edwin looks my way "what did you even buy?"
"Nothing" I shake my head and take a seat next to Austin as I rest my cheek into my hand
"So why did you go to the store" Zion ask
"Why are y'all questioning me?!"
"Damn bro , no need to get snappy" Brandon says "what's up with you? Everything alright?"
"Everything is Fine" I say
"Doesn't seem like iitttttt" Zion sings
I give him a look "my bad"
"You know you can talk to us right?" Austin says and I feel all of them looking at me
I look at each of them with wide eyes "I know but like I said everything is fine , and now stop with the questions Alright?"
(2 hours later) I been sitting in my room for the last hour and half thinking of Genevieve. I couldn't be down in the basement long.
Asking myself questions like
Will I regret this?
Did I make the right choice?
Is she gonna be okay?
Will I be okay?
Does she hate me now?
Am I an asshole?
Can we ever go back to just being friends?
Should we have just stayed friends?
All these questions going through my mind and I don't have answers to any of them.
I still feel horrible especially when she started to tear up. When she followed me as I walked to the door hoping I'd just talk to her.
I wanted to be with her , Hell I still do but I can't give her what she wants and needs. She's not even asking for a lot. I can't give her the simple things , the things she deserves.
I don't want to waste her time more than I already have. The entire we've known each other I've looked at her as an annoying little sister that I loved. Never seen as much more until about a year ago. She's always been beautiful that's one thing.
It's always been something about her that I just couldn't get enough of no matter how many times I would deny the feeling I would if she walked into the room or when I heard her voice. It was weird for me very weird.
So when she kissed me and let me she liked me I was excited but as we starting getting closer the thought of being affectionate and lovey just felt wrong. She's been my "little sister" for years. The day we almost had sex. I wanted to I really did. But the thought of her being this kid to me popped in my mind and it felt wrong.
Like I said earlier I've never been the best at relationships. I usually don't tend to care about my parents feelings. Genevieve is different. I have to care about hers , I do care about hers.
I didn't wanna hurt her anymore then I already was even if she doesn't admit it , I was hurting her that entire time.
She wasn't happy with what I was doing which was nothing. She wasn't satisfied with the spot we were in together. I can't do that to her.
My thoughts are interrupted by a knock at my door "what's up?" I shout so the person can hear me
"you tryin come get some food with us?" Edwin pops his head in
"Naw man"
"Come on , we can go out after" he nods
"again naw"
"Alright seriously what's wrong?"
I sigh out of frustration "how many times do I have to say everything is fine!"
"we're just trying help , we'll be back sometime tonight" he shuts the door leaving me there to again start thinking about Genevieve and I.
