S^x with a Ghost| Fyolai AU

| ¥ Transparent Family ¥ |

It had been one week since then.

The very week that my father had fatefully changed the entire course of my life by inviting my boy friend (who he believed was a girl) over for dinner. Now, it wasn't like I hated the idea of Nikolai coming over to see me, believe me I was overly excited for that. But the problem was... that my father was probably going to be lasering our every action with his usual expectant expression plastered on his face. I was utterly terrified of that expression because it meant that he would do something drastic if I did not obey his every wish and command, bowing to his every whim like he were some idiosyncratic god. Which I knew he compared himself to— quite often in fact. It revolted me that he thought of himself in such a way, putting himself on the same pillar of God himself? Now that was just sheer arrogance.

Although, both of my parents were equally excited to hear that I had finally sound someone. Which wasn't surprising to me in the least since they had been urging me on for who knows how long about just getting with someone already. Which I had always declined such a thing because, back then I simply had no interest in the notions of "love" or a "romantic relationship". But ever since I had met Nikolai, that designation had changed drastically. Now the two of us were as intimate as ever, which may be a shock to some but I had to admit that it was extremely entertaining to say the least. The day I met him a desire broke loose— a desire I didn't even know existed inside of me. A desire for him... that's what it was. I was positive of that ever since the day I laid eyes on his handsome slender figure. I could almost imagine him dancing in the moonlight before me, making me laugh at his idiotic behavior and expressions. Oh, how I wished we could do that now... with me as his only audience to relish in his beauty and tranquility. Just like we always did....

But now... things were more complicated since my parents knew of his existence.

I was still horrified from that... my plan was to keep Nikolai sheltered from them at all costs. No matter what I wanted to keep him hidden away from my cruel and chaotic world. But that reality was now crumbling down to the ground like a melting glacier, thundering into the sea. If only I could be lost in that sea and away from this hell... with Nikolai. That seemed more like a dream than anything else as of right now... almost impossible if I had to admit. Though I wish it wasn't so.

I felt like the curtain of my life was coming crashing down onto the stage, masking the spotlight over the audience as the whole room would dim. All of my hopes— dreams— even my fantasies would die along with it. There was going to be nothing left by the end of this. Nothing at all.

Just a broken reality that will swallow my every thought and moment. My every waking vision and image that I intake from the world around me. It would all be gone... lost in a wave of utter hopelessness and despair. The origin of this being from my own personal decisions and that of my family's own ignorance on how uncomfortable this dinner will make the two of us. Not that they would care anyways— if I had explained how much it bothered us, they would simply brush it aside and say something along the lines of "Your worrying to much" or "It's just a dinner between family, there shouldn't be anything to be concerned about." And these very sentiments made my blood want to burst with irritancy. Just because it made sense and felt like a fun activity it their eyes— it didn't mean Nikolai and I felt or viewed it in the same regard, not even in the slightest. And we didn't... actually we would've loved to make up some sort of excuse to decline the invitation completely, but my father would've seen through it in an instant so there was no point in trying to make room for lies.

Even though they may claim it's just an elementary dinner that will cause little to no harm... I knew what it really was. All it is— is just some sort of playing field that my father wanted full control over the pieces being set inside. This was his way of boxing us all in... trying to force us into a role that neither of us wanted to play. It was all just a simple action to him— manipulating the pieces to his every desire as he was probably going to pair me and Nikolai together every single chance he got since he wanted me to continue the family legacy while I was still able to be controlled.